Hi, New To This

Hey, I'm completely new to this and I thought why not let's give it a go. I'm a university student, who has severe depression and anxiety. I have had these for as long as I can remember but I've never really talked about it to anyone. Yeah, sure I've had therpy and counseling, but nothing really seems to be working. Ive been on basic medication for about half a year now, and I've had my doseage increased multiple times and had my medication changed to the next strongest one recently. I have been having a really tough time of it recently if i were to tell the truth. I want to think that everything is normal and I'm not crazy. But I can't stop myself from feeling this way even when I put it into perspecitive. My family has tried to be supportive of me, but I can tell that they're unsure of what to do and how to handle everything about me. My boyfriend seems like my rock, but I keep on screwing everything up recently. I know I can't help it, but I just keep on hitting myself for being so stupid and saying things that I know will get him angry. Maybe behind it all, I'm just a scared little girl who just wants to be like everyone else and not have a care in the world, apart from who got kicked off of the x-factor. I always find myself saying sorry for everything, even if I didn't do anything at all. It just seems like everything is all my fault and I'm the one to be blamed. I guess you never really know what life's going to throw at you, until you're there in the middle of it all.