Post Apocalypse

So having just joined the forum and put up a little about my situation, I thought I would share my current journey and see if I can keep my head straight.

Immediate background - hubby and I separated (again) 4 July this year. My daughter initially moved with me to a shelter then we were given a half way house for 6 months. A month after we moved, during an access visit, she decided she wasn't coming home to me (not sure if this was her decision or a "gentle nudge" by her father). She has virtually not spoken to me since (13 August) although her father and I were "trying to work things out" and I had been at their house - including overnight several times between then and 9 October. I have several times received abusive emails or texts telling me to leave her alone (and not in those poilte words either) which seem to actually have come from someone with far greater language skills than those of a 13 year old child with Aspergers.

This week - started last Friday when I stayed for what is now the last time at their place. My ex and I had some difficulties with "performance failure" and he refused to talk to me. After I asked a couple of times for him to talk to me he suddenly arked up, standing up and yelling at me that it was all my fault etc etc. I refused to take that/accept that so said that I would leave and come home - which I did. I finally broke the silence on Saturday night by sending an email asking him to talk. No response for almost 13 hours - then some 40 emails (mostly nasty by him) and a phone call saw things glossed over (not sorted but meh)

Monday morning at his place - all good and sweet so long as he got what he wanted. Things were a little off when I left (he tidied the place removing any signs of my having been there before heading out to collect our daughter). I came home and sorted some things out here which lead to me responding inappropriately to a situation and being threatened with eviction (I am in a women's shelter). I spoke to the ex who flatly told me it is all my fault, that I will never change (I am almost 47 and only just starting a proper therapy for my issues - and only 5 weeks in to that as it is) and that there was no way he was going to help me (not even to offer me the couch for a couple of nights if I had been evicted). This got nastier and nastier via text message until he demanded that I come up and collect the last of my stuff (what was given back wasn't worth the trip - he kept stuff that I had lent him over the past month or so) and when I was there he screamed more abuse at me through the window which is not suitable to put into print.

So now we are day 4 PA (post apocalypse) and I went in to see my solicitor to see about getting parenting orders put in because I fear that he will do a runner with her and I don't have the funds to follow them around the country. Not pushing for guaranteed contact with my daughter - only the ability to continue to communicate with her, even if she chooses not to respond.