Welcome to the forum, @ScaredPanda13. It sounds as though this is not a planned pregnancy for you and your partner. That means a major life decision needs to be made. It sounds as though your partner recognises that it is primarily your decision and has left that to you. I personally think this is a good thing, as it is your body and life that will probably most be impacted, though of course the impact of a child is major for male partners too.
It is very difficult for anyone to advise you with this decision, other than to share a personal perspective and any experience with this kind of situation they may have had themselves. When I was younger, I was in your situation too. I was at first optimistic about the prospect. But on sober examination of my circumstances, I chose to terminate my pregnancy. My reasons were: that I suffer from chronic physical and mental illness that limits my ability to even care for myself; that I have lived my life below the poverty line and see no way out of this; that I had no support from friends or family where I lived, other than a partner at the time.
Like you, my partner at that time left me to make the decision. He too was reluctant to talk about it. I think this was because the decision I made would have such an impact on him too. With your partner, I suggest being aware that he may be processing his own emotions about this. With some people this can mean withdrawing inside themselves for a time to be able to do that.
Having revealed here that I chose to terminate my pregnancy, I want to also let you know that I am now past child bearing age and have no children. There have been times when I was sad about this. Overall I feel I made the right decision for me, my partner at that time, and the child that might have been.
I hope there will be others who reply to this discussion to give you some different perspectives on such a major choice for you.
Kind wishes,
Maz
