feeling rejected

Hi @sociallyanxious, Welcome to Forum Land

I am really sorry to hear that you've had that experience with your therapist. I have had many similar experiences. It isn't you, it's the fact that your therapist lacks self-awareness around her own boundaries. I am currently on the hunt for my thirteenth therapist since Feb. last year when my then-therapist decided to close her practice (only five months after starting with me - grrrrrrrr). In her handover report, she talks at length about how any therapist who works with me needs to be super self-aware of their own boundaries from the start. She states that I need explicit boundaries regarding all things including time, space and contact...it is essential that these are clearly thought through and discussed, or therapy is certain to fail for Phoenix_Rising. As I said, I'm on the hunt for therapist take-thirteen. This is in part because there are a lot of therapists out there who lack self-awareness regarding boundaries.

I can very much relate to your sense of rejection. As therapist-take-one articulated in her report, I can cope relatively ok with boundaries, so long as they are clear and don't change. If a therapist told me I could text between sessions and then she retracted that offer, I would experience extreme distress and feelings of rejection and abandonment. That doesn't make me "bad," it is simply reflective of the very issues that I am seeking help with.

I wish I could magically take away those big feelings that you are experiencing right now @sociallyanxious, but alas I can't. I hope it helps a tinsy tiny bit to know that what you are feeling is totally understandable and that you are not alone in having had this horrible experience of being given support and then having that support taken away. It super sucks.

I super hope you can feel supported here. Forum Land really IS here 24/7. You can reach out for support or advice at any time of the day or night and there will be someone here to hear you.

Hi @sociallyanxious,

A big part of being a psych is projecting the view that your patients can contact you as frequently as you need but at the same time a number of psychologists get into the field because they experience their own mental illness. What they said may have been a genuine token of goodwill but they are going through a rough period theirself and as much as they genuinely want to help they're struggling a bit with their own problems.

Don't view it as a dismissal, just as a request to give them some space, just as you would with a friend suffering with the same mental illness as you. We must remember that everyone is human and they might be dealing with the same stuff as you, perhaps unable to give genuine advice as they are struggling too.

Give them some time then try to get in contact.