just struggling

I'm finding things really difficult. Theres just too much happening at once, and very little of it i have any control over. the mental health worker who visits has said its all too much to cope with and nobody could cope with it all but that i just need to put it to the side and focus on day to day stuff... but I cant. I'm physically not well at the moment either, with a silly cold and cough. plus i mangled my shoulder and neck and that just wont settle either. I'm so finding it so hard. I've been honest with my emails to my psychologist, but im so scared about sliding any further down this hole because of family court in a few weeks. plus the independent childrens lawyer will want a review of me as well because my exes claims for why he should have the children is all to do with my mental health. i'm exhausted, and my lil guy is having behavioural problems at kindy (he's always been very busy and anxious/angry) and they're briging up all of that too that its all my fault, and im so scared that it is, even though drs have said that its more likely a response to the trauma from being in a violent house etc..... wish there was a pause button on life... and that i could program myself some sleep and just sleep!

LJ