BUBBLES WORLD :)

It's hard sometimes to say exactly what I'm worth.
Sometimes even harder dealing with the hurt.

To feel like no one's there during all my pain.
I have nothing left to lose and nothing left to gain.

I struggle through the days, with no one at my side,
To find some sort of worth, to save a little pride.

But all my days are dark, stormy, cold and gray,
And emptiness keeps growing as I slowly fade away.

I have no effort left to put into this life,
No helping hand behind me to pull me to the light.

So once again I ask, before I leave this Earth,
Tell me, if you care, exactly what I'm worth.

Depression is oppression.
It's a deadly hidden message
Defined by self-hate.
It seals its prisoner's fate.
It holds you captive and throws out the key.
It stabs and jabs just to see you bleed,
Inflicting wounds that scar for life.
Destruction is its mother and death its wife.

You can cry, but it will always ignore your screams.
It terrorizes your soul and haunts your dreams.
It sends you false hope through a bottle or pill.
It destroys your goals and inflicts its will.
You can't run, nor can you hide.
By its rules you will abide
Until it celebrates that you have died.
Open your eyes, or you will be its prey.
It will blur your vision in the most twisted way.
It will seek your destruction and call for your head.
You will lie and wait but never rest in your bed.

Peace will come to those who want peace,
But as long as you feed him, you will see the beast.
You can't run, nor can you hide,
But if you conquer the beast, you will survive.
Prayer and hope can lead the way.
Cling on to every word you pray.
Hope is in truth.
Hate is in lies.
Pray for your soul and open your eyes.

If I turned around and walked away, would you notice I'm gone,
Would you even care?
When you look at me, do you see the smile on my face,
Or do you see the tears I fight to hold inside?
Do you see a strong, willful woman I portray,
Or the scared little girl who never quite goes away?
If I broke down and lost all control,
Would you know how to handle me,
Would you hold me 'til I stop shaking,
Kiss away all of my tears?
Would you know how to lift me up
From a place far below recognition?
You see a sexy, loving woman,
But I'm so much more.
I'm sad,
I'm lonely,
I'm unpredictable,
I'm broken,
I'm irrational,
I'm complicated.
You say you want me,
But you don't even know.
You see who I let you see,
Who I've always let you see,
But what about the real me,
The everyday me,
The girl who never seems to get anything right
The one who could break down at any given moment
And have no clue why.
I try so hard to fight away my doubts
For a while they bury themselves away,
So far away that I think they're gone forever,
But I guess nothing lasts forever,
Because the pain and tears always find their way back to me.
Can you handle me,
Can you handle ALL of me?
Am I worth the time,
Do you really love me enough
To stand by me through all my troubles,
Or am I just too broken for you?

Days of endless struggle
More hopeful pills today
Trying to appear 'normal'
In some sort of way.

It seems that the struggle
Is always here with me
And I wouldn't be here now
If guilt would leave me be

I know there's been many
Who've had it worse than I
But that doesn't always mean
That I wouldn't say good-bye

People say I have a lot going for me
I'm sorry, but I just can't see
I can't see because my worst enemy
Is not my life, but inside of me.

Always on a roller coaster,
Not much consistency
I'm nothing if I'm not up or down
I'm nothing if just 'me.'

Very little energy
Wanting to stay in bed
Wishing to be enthusiastic
Instead of feeling like I'm made of lead.

Wanting to be excited
Wanting to care for more
But when nothing makes sense
It's hard to focus on the poor.

Cluttered mind, cluttered thinking
It's hard to keep in touch
With what is happening around me
And not to worry too much.

I feel that everybody is better than me
And that I can't do anything right.
This is how I've felt my whole dang life
It didn't just start last night.

No confidence, no self-esteem
Everybody else is right
To speak my mind is to be a fool
So I just try to 'sit tight.'

Any one of these problems
Would be a heavy vice
But when you have them ALL
Living seems like a roll of the dice.

im done . bye for now

Hey @Bubbles3,

How are you going today? I am a little worried about you so we have emailed you. You also know you can reach out and call any of these numbers here:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Beyondblue: 1300 22 4636 or web chat

I saw people were talking about your mosaic - do you like doing arts and crafts? I love to crotchet haha! I am working on making a stuffed toy for my neice.

see once agan it doesnt matter how hard i try on this forum, i always fk it up. i can never get anything right. onther post deleted and now ill probably get a ban again. i try so hard on her, interacting with people, talking to other, thrying to help other. up i still make all these mistakes. what the fk is wrong with me. is there any point being on here anymore.

maye not. more drinking today thanks to my own thread tht has triggered me. yeah, well done bubbles. start something up that i cant even handle.. well im off again. theres no point me being on here

@Bubbles3 what about looking into some christmas bubbbles for you?

I found this image - do you like it?