Taking the plunge

@Maggie 🤗💕

I looked at the time after posting my first one this morning. @CheerBear I didn’t realise it was that early. So I turned everything off.

Heading for second ☕️☕️

Yesterday was ok ish. Went for a short drive with kind of friend. She needed time out. Dogs had a pleasant country walk.

I read you had a moment with one yesterday, so hard @CheerBear . Hope you are both doing ok enough today. ❤️

I guess reality can hit like that @CheerBear . I know those “ I can’t do this anymore” and “ way to big for me” feelings. Thankfully, they pass. They can leave scars in their wake. I / we wear many scars @CheerBear . Battle wounds. Proof we fought and won. 💪💪💪

I’ve moved emotionally with kind of friend. I take it or leave it. I don’t know if it’s positive or negative, but I can’t go on being hurt by her. I will support in a distant kind of way. They are capable of looking after each other. I need to look after me.

I have a mosaic paver ready to glue. I hope to do it today.

Hows your day looking. 💙💙

Lots of battle wounds @Maggie 🙁 I feel battle weary sometimes, as I imagine you do too. Thanks for getting it ❤

Emotionally moved on sounds protective of yourself. Taking company when it's good for you and furbaby and keeping some distance is a big step. I wish they were the friend you deserve though.

Are you able to glue the whole paver (put all the bits on it to finish it)? That sounds like a very cool thing to be doing today!

I'm not sure about today. I started it off OK being able to see the kitchen and laundry again so that felt nice to wake up to. The weather is strange here at the moment. Quite cool. Maybe bikes will get dusted off 🙂 I've got my crochet happening this morning which feels good and I'm in the middle of another book. It will be my third one this year already 🎉 (that's a really big deal considering my banana brain!)

Third book sounds positive for potential study @CheerBear . 👍👍💜💜

Book talk... I’m reading an interesting one atm. ‘ Coping with trauma related dissociation’ by Suzette Boon and Kathy Steele. There’s not too much one this subject, but more than there used to be. Looking good so far.

I was devastated at Christmas @CheerBear. I’m working at trying to become visible. That sounds strange. It was imposed as a child, but I’m still hiding there somewhere. I’m searching for fragments of a self image, I don’t mind if it’s a low self image, just a self, my self. I don’t want/need to be the centre of attention, just to be counted, valued, heard. It’s tough and unfamiliar ground. Uncomfortable.

Im pleased you found your laundry/kitchen. More p,eased you are yarning, in more ways than one. 😁😁😁

I have the paver all set and pieces in place. Gluing should be fun. But I’m really looking forward to grouting. It’s my first big mosaic.

Teared up with the story @CheerBear ‘ s friend. In a really really warm fuzzy way. Thankyou. I appreciate you so much. I hope you know that. 💙💙💙💙

It is a serious looking book @CheerBear . But so far reading friendly. It has exercises to do, like mindfulness etc after chapters. I’m taking it slow, as some of this stuff can be triggering. But honestly, almost anything can trigger.

Yes I will put my paver on the craft thread when it’s done, I really want you to see it.

I think sitting with my counsellor for 15 years is starting to pull some bricks out of my many layers of walks. Scary but good I think. I have liked being heard and treated respectfully. She never thinks ‘ different ‘ is weird. Maybe the hidden roots will emerge. Secretly hope so.

A few rounds from part two. You are going well. 🧶🧶🧶🧶

Looks grey and rainy here today.