Taking the plunge

Hi @Maggie, and thanks for the update earlier. Have I misunderstood you when I am thinking that you are getting a CT scan done and then seeing a specialist, both today? Has that all taken place yet? I expect that if the specialist is an ENT specialist that they will be able to take care of both the sinus issue as well as the broken nose. Hopefully something can be organised very soon.

Maggie, I'm not in a good place right now. Its been a bad couple of days in fact. I was triggered by something yesterday while in town, something which should not normally have shaken me as it did. But I went into a panic, and I haven't recovered from it yet. I tried all afternoon yesterday to distract myself from it all and to shake myself out of it, but without success. I feel sick, I feel afraid of life. I havent slept and I'm so tired and feel so defeated. I'll be okay, I have to be, but right now I can't see a way forward. I think it's very fortunate that I'm seeing my psych on Friday. I just have the one appointment for now, but with Christmas fast approaching and hubby with all his medical apts its hard to schedule apts. I am thankful to get in so soon to see her anyway, so wont push it. She usually takes some leave in Dec too.

The burden of the additional stresses and relentless knocks I've received over the past couple of months seem to be pushing me into an ever deepening depression. A deep dark pit beckons as I try my hardest not to give in to it. I know you will relate to this Maggie, and no doubt others here too. Just when I start to believe things are improving I get hit with something new. So better days remain constantly out of my reach. It doesn't get any easier does it? This perpetual cycle of fear, anxiety and depression which is PTSD as I know it. I wish things were different Maggie.

As for my art project, I tried to do some last night, as a distraction. But it didnt work and I ended up leaving it. I didnt want to stuff up what actually started out showing some promise. I was happy with it so far. Once I do finish it however, I will definitely find a way of showing you and others here. I know there are a few artists among you. My artistic efforts, are fairly ordinary compared to some of the art I've seen some of you do. But you have to start somewhere don't you? @utopia @Former-Member @Former-Member @TAB @Faith-and-Hope @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Bunniekins @Former-Member @outlander. So I can show you, if necessary I will put it up as a temporary profile picture. I promise to get it to you all somehow, but on the art thread, not here.

Hi everyone, I hope your day has been happy and productive.

Sherry

@Former-Member Sorry to read the last couple of days has been tough - no it is never easy. I gave up on that notion long ago. One day at a time....Thinking of you

Hi @utopia - did you manage to get a good sleep last night? Hope you did and your day is going well. Is so hot and humid here now that I didn't sleep well last night but I picked up at the end of the day. Always feel better at the end after pushing through (i can moan abit though as I am pushing lol). What was your day like?

Hi @Former-Member - I like your new avatar - looks inviting 😊. Glad to read that you enjoyed good Japanese food at the shops yesterday - I went on a date many moons ago where this gorgeous fellow took me to a Japanese restaurant - I don't think anyone has laughed so much at my expression after I took my first bite of raw fish :nauseated_face: Never again haha...and all that food throwing didn't do much for me either lol.

@Maggie - my volunteering day ended up well.....didn't start that way. I woke up feeling shocking. But after pushing and talking to customers and staff, this cheered me up and I felt good. It was worth the effort to push myself out there. The heat here is horrendous - very draining and there is no end in sight until late March next year. Glad to read that your are getting your nose scanned - how did it go? Has your blood pressure stabilised? Keep cool tomorrow tomorrow as it sounds like a hot one. Do you do any cross stitch indoors on days like that? I intend to do a lot of stitching tomorrow.

Sending warm thoughts to @Bunniekins@Former-Member@Former-Member@San@Phoenix_Rising@TAB@outlander@CheerBear@Faith-and-Hope@Ant7@Former-Member@Zoe7 and everyone who is reading xx

Loving your new avatar too @Former-Member .... 💕

Loving your new avatar too @Bella3 .

i will have one with you @Former-Member

hello all

@Former-Member

I know how it feels with holidays looming....trauma after trauma piling up until you feel well that is it cant take any more..

good that you have an appointment on friday...

tell them that you need to know that there is a back up plan...so even though you might not need to use the plan ...knowing that the plan is there makes all the difference.,,

this has been done for me in the past when my therapist has gone away...

many psychiatrists use each other as back up for this very reason...so hopefully yours does to...and will let whoever it is know that you might need an appointment...then write down full details ...full name address contact phone number....you dont need to be looking up this stuff if a crisis occurs....

good luck and take care...

I have been fighting depression which was encroaching very strongly on my space recently...very hard place to be in....I have had major depression for most of my life...