My friend committed suicide and I am struggling

Hi @yourpastisagift

I am glad to hear your are feeling a little better about your friend's suicide and that this is bringing you closer to your own daughter

What you said about society only wanting us to express positive emotions is to true - many of us battle with the darker side of ourselves and sometimes I feel that it is not necessary to feel happy all the time but we are not taught to understand that life is not always fun and games and that we have to battle inside to grow to adulthood - and for your friend being tossed from one parent to the other is really sad and it seems she was never given the chance to accept live is a learning curve and how to manage that

And as you know parenthood is no easy deal either - the precious person arrives finding they have to breathe for themselves now and they spend the first however-long in their lives with their nappy getting dirty and having to suck the breast or bottle and the world must seem an uncomfortable place for the first however-long and some people just never get it - and most people eventually do and how lucky we forget that time in our lives when we were so helpless. Also we all have to start getting use to being alone for the first time also and this is not at all easy - uh uh

And also - I was surprised when I was watching Dr Phil a few days back when a young woman expressed suicidal feelings that Dr Phil closed her down - perhaps in her case it was warrented - wow - how bad if someone gets that kind of response - how bad if when they express this they are immediately carted off to some facilty against their will - there has to be an easy way to deal with this. It would be terrible scary to have either of these options and I would imagine that thinking this would stop people from saying anything

But obviously you do have a wonderful child yourself which is one reason your friend's death is hard to understand - and thanks for your kind thoughts about my son and my cousin. There will still be some really hard moments to deal with your loss and this is normal

I do wish you the best and I am so glad that you have found us and expressed your grief and other people have expressed their insight and experience well also

My best thoughts

Dec

Hi Dec,

thank you for your wisdom and kind words...

What I have learned from this experience is to pay more attention to those around me. My husband, my daughter, our friends and family. To look at them more closely and really listen to what they are saying and feeling.

So much is expressed without words.

With the Dr Phil Show, I think many people treat it like it's a contagious disease and if one person expresses their wishes to commit suicide that others will want to follow.

I honestly believe that so many do because they feel that they can't talk to anyone. Too ashamed or embarrassed of what they are feeling to speak up and it is because it is frowned upon to be anything but joyful.

We have our feelings and thoughts for a reason and we must learn to embrace them ALL... not just joy.

It is what makes us human.