@PeppiPatty Hello lovely. No wonder you have been having a rough time, hopefully things settle down now that you have your meds sorted out.
I don't mind answering your questions at all. Met the hubster at work, selling health insurance in a callcentre, of all things. Was a real turn of fate as the circumstances leading up to each of us being there were quite farfetched. I fell for him right away and he took a bit longer to win over. We are ridiculously compatible.
Thought processes. I do a lot of self NLP usually by writing it out and that helps a lot. Getting things on paper helps me to stop looping or obsessing. Sometimes I do other stuff like CBT, Clean Language... But it still usually involves writing it out. I find that easier and more effective than talking about it, though usually after I have worked something out I will talk about it then.
Sometimes I call a friend who also does NLP and get them to run a process on me, (I do the same for him). And when I am not coping well enough I go get professional help.
The truth is not all of my coping is that healthy. I also emotionally eat, I wag work, I spend too much money online and watch way too much TV as ways to avoid things and distract myself.
As for the how old question... I had always had problems with separation anxiety, and weird issues, in kindi even, that in hindsight, these days would have got me a diagnosis of Autism much sooner.
I always felt different from other people and was always getting in trouble so knew I was different. That's how I ended up with the belief that I was a Bad Person, because I just couldn't do anything right or normal. So in some senses from a very, very early age.
If we are talking strictly when did I realise I had a mental illness... Probably at about 14 when my ED really took hold and took over. Until then I had just sort of assumed everything was because I was fundamentally Bad, it was only at that point that I realised this thing had a name and was not really a choice, and that I was following a very predictable pattern of behaviour.