Mental illness-invisable or not

Hi Kenny66,

Good question, in my experience (the only one I have to go on Lol!) people in general like to put others in 'boxes' for their own understanding. We know we have the MI label, but others don't necessarily know, unless you feel the need or choose to let them know.

Conversely, we don't know if anyone else is suffering from MI or not, unless they feel the need or choose to let us know. I have been very selective with my disclosure, as I find the level of friendship/relationship determines whether I 'come out' or not (does that make sense?)

So with the 'how's the weather' type of people, I just go about my business. Even with people who consider themselves to be 'my friend', I disclose very little (unless they ask). Notice I said "consider themselves to be my friend." Often, people delegate themselves to the level of 'friend', when (in my mind) they actually are just another acquaintance.

I guess we (society) would expect a true friend to have a higher level of understanding (of our MI) than an acquaintance and likewise a partner to have a higher level of understanding than a friend. Not necessarily true.

I have recently disclosed my MI to a minister who I consider is a nice all round guy.....but he shows little more understanding of my MI now than before I let him know my struggles. Even if he does have more understanding about MI than I have assessed, he does not show it. He could not even understand the 'label'......a personality what?? I have even changed the words around......"I have a 'disordered personality' due to experiencing extreme neglect and emotional/sexual abuse as a child".....[silence - combined with 'blank look'].

Says it all really, I just keep my mouth shut now unless asked.

Regards, Jake

Ha! Great question. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist, but it can be very debilitating.

Don't forget to mention discrimination, because some people won't want to work with you because they might catch it from you if you sneeze! Sorry if I sound angry, but I'm going through a rough time at work at the moment. Some people are playing 'mind games' with me to supposedly send me into depression or make me leave a job I love doing.

Then, you get those people you read about in the news who blame their violence on MI, because 'it made them do it'.

Kenny, I suggest your disability employment adviser is in the wrong job - they need some education before they are qualified to help you.

With regard to your Minister, Jake, don't you know that religious people think we have fallen angels or suchlike attached to us! You will be frightening the poor man.

Thank goodness for this forum - we can just say it like it is. Love you guys.

Amber

Hi Jake

I agree, there are people who assume they are our friends, who are not. The only people I class as friends are a Bipolar lady and a Schizophrenic guy. My acquaintences are not necessary judgemental but ignorant with no attempt at understanding MI. They are kind though I suppose.

As I said previously my parents dumped me as soon as they found out mainly because they didnt think it was serious illness and I was putting it on. They were child abusing torturers anyway., so who actually cares if they dont have anything to do with me.

I sort of take the opposite position and tell most people I have an MI. Sometimes my Schizophrenia is very obvious so the cat gets let out of the bag then, so to speak. Some find it quirky and eccentric and a couple are a little scared because of the general view and stigma associated with MI. None of them have a concrete "vision"of what it actually is. My GP doesnt give any recogniton about ti so it is ignored during my consult.

Go Amber!

Oh yes, the demon possession thing - glad you mentioned it! Pretty narrow view held (I believe) by some extreme pentecostal groups.

Bit sad really, I have also been told that if I didn't 'speak in tongues' I wouldn't go to heaven (or was that I'd go to 'hell') and also by a 'sabbath keeping church' that if I didn't 'keep the sabbath' I'd also go to 'hell'.

Common thread - they all think they are right.

Now lets apply some basic logic:

a) they can't all be right

b) one is right and the others are wrong

c) they are all wrong

I'll let you be the judge of that, but I certainly don't 'speak in tongues', keep the sabbath or am 'demon possessed! (well - not that I know of - Lol!)

Regards, Jake

p.s. sorry about your work situation, I can't work anymore - fell off the perch 25 years ago and can't seem to get back on it again.

Hi Amber

The deadbeat employment advisor I was given thought I was Gregory, an amputee, for almost the entire first interview. Fallen angels we are not!! I prefer to think that we are more than angels, somewhat enhanced, because of our uncomplicated and pure view of life. If only other people could recongnise MI people for the special perspective they bring to the world.

One interesting point I should have mentioned is that my schizophrenic falatmate and I are almost telepathic, to a certain degree. His view of things generally,and mine, whilst occassionally different, are mosty aligned. He has a quite beautiful perception of life which would be considered naive by most people without MI. His view of the world as he knows it is quite euphoric if you spend enough time with him. I wish most of the people I know without MI were like this.

Well Kenny, maybe that's why we're all sick, we just don't see the world in the same way as "normal" people! What a difference there might be in the world if everyone had the eyes to see, both the ugliness and the beauty.

Sorry about the sarcastic turn there, not directed at you. I just get really p-ed off at the "leper-treatment" dished out by so many to those suffering MIs.

Hi Jake,

Yes people love to box others for comfort. Is it a social thing? Or an anti-social thing to do (box people)? Even if you don't disclose your MI you might end up in a wierd/odd/different box. If you're like me you might be happy to be wierd (my son complained to me in Yr7, and I just said "get used to it, we're a weird family" now 17 he's happy to be weird in his own way too).

Many people seem unable to "get it" if it's outside their personal experience. They don't seem to be able to "walk a mile" in someone else's shoes - especially when it's to do with MI.

I'm so sorry about your experience with the minister, unfortunately often no different from your average Joe public on this stuff, and sometimes much worse. The judgemental stuff you and Amber mention is horrible, abusive and way out of line with the gospels.

Something you might like to point out to "religious" holier-than-thou types who are into demonising mental illness and giving you the leprosy treatment is that Jesus hung out with a lot of (literal and social) lepers. Rather than criticising or blaming them he healed them - so there's their challenge (best be really clear here you're not interested in an exorcism, unless they're offering to be exorcised of their judgementalism).

In my experience many people of faith are genuinely compassionate. Sadly many others will offer to pray for you, whilst meaning (perhaps subconciously) "would you like judgement with that?" because that is what you get - like the burger with ubiquitous fries. I've learned a hard lesson to recognise those and say "thanks, but no thanks".

Best regards,

Kristin

Hi Kenny,

It's invisible so many people will think there's "nothing" wrong with you, or it's made up, or all in your head (which I guess in a way it is, sort of!). Others with invisible disabilities struggle with similar issues. I have a couple of friends who suffer from acute fibromyalgia and they cop the same sort of crap. Apparently if you have a disability you are supposed to be in a wheelchair or use a white stick. Maybe they might get us all to wear stars so we can be spotted easily! (Sorry my sarcasm button is turned up tonight! BTW does anyone else love The Sneetches by Dr Seuss?)

One of the most disabling things about mental illness can be the attitudes of other people. It's wide-spread too, from Joe Blogs in the street to the PM.

I'm really enjoying this forum - it offers such a wonderful antidote to all the judgement and demonisation towards MIs that is so prevalent in "normal" society.

Best regrds,

Kristin

Hi Kristin

I know the leper treatment too well. I do think we really get it dished out to us harshly though. Its difficult for people to understand how we feel about that.

Racism and homophobia, discrimination against women for example in there own way have been similar issues. There has been a lot of energy and strategies put into place to reverse community behaviour and perceptions about them which have been very successful.

The Anti Discrimination Act deals with discrimination on the basis of mental illness but is not very descriptive about what that means. I dont think there have been any big bucks dealing with MI phobia or blatant as well as subtle discrimination in this area.

All of the motherhood statements by the anti discrimiantion commissioner and the government has not actually given any concrete benefits to people on the gound with MI. Going on my experiences, almost every part of society discriminates against MI people including the medical profession. Participation rates for peopel with a disabiltity in the public service have halved in a decade.

Seeing that MI people make up a small part of this figure their participation rates would be significantly lower. Unless there is a concerted effort by government-community-disability organisations-mental health organisations-the medical profession and all the support services working together and not in their own interests, nothing will change.