OCD and return to work

Just a few other thoughts .. if they seems appropriate to you take them on board otherwise pay no attention.

It a toxic society we are a part of but It is purity of intention that matters .. a nun used to do the old cleanliness is not godliness .. and somehow it made sense to me.

There are so many ways fathers can love their kids. Mine died when I was 11. so I mainly know the absence.

When my kids were born there was huge amount of issues re MI .. so my main concern over basics .. health, food, housing, education, socialisation, safety, etc was somehow fortifying them against possible MI threats. So I guess I saw a possible threat from within...

Yes, When met my darling husband i wasted lot of time working out......how did He get diagnosed chronic paranoid schizophrenia......we both went to high school together so.......I spent a lot of time re meeting all my old school friends feeling grouchy at them not for being supportive and bringing him alcohol to the hospital he waS at.

in the year 2012, i didnt know this but he hadnt finished his journey of being uncontrollable

I ended up getting a restraining order on him and in that 2 years that we seperated......,he decided to quit drugs and alcohol and stop being jailed and grow up........i just kept on getting into silly situations. Then he wrote letter to me and gave it to my Mum to give to me.... . .after about 3 months I wrote to him.

Your work will be fine.

Is your wife able to do something together with you and make your difficult times like......wanting to protect your children....... make it a bit of a game ?

I remember when my kids were at school how many parents had really hard times with illnesses and......oh hospitalizations. My sons are now 24 and 21 years old.

Something has to happen to lighten the load.

I think the Only way is education. When I met my husband, we made a concious decision for me to get as much support as possible. We made appointments at Arafmi, a drug and alcohol centre and we both went to a group of people suffering times of mental ill health.it was onceer week. I learnt so so much.

My husband and I fought , overworked nurses and Psychiatrists who ignored the wellbeing and voices of the loved ones and carers.

I still think Im fighting a losing battle. I dont know what 'love is.' When he starts messing up.We spend about 3 to 4 days a week together, we dont live together but we dont have kids. my husband cares very much for me.

i cannot urge you enough to see that what your going through Has to be one......in all positivitivity I can write is.......yourself when you spend times in mental ill health

.........is a dialogue now not a monologue. You can teach your children new ways of caring for others under stress and your work.

When me and my husband seperated for two years, this person, this man....... just entered my life. I was under huge shock and therein began 18 months of wanting to get away from someone who, was......the most meanest person I have met. When

I told him i suffered times of mental ill health....anyway, my story is littered throughout this wonderful forum.

i am rid of him, I am safe but myemyersonal journey kickstarted a huge realisation and freedom which has been good

can you contact people to make this a positive

Thankyou to all that have replied to my comments

To me it is good to hear other peoples storys as well as share my own it makes me feel

that I am not alone and that people are listening to me.

I do realise that we live in a toxic society and that most of my thoughts are irrational but I

also think do people without mental illness sometimes dont think enough sometimes in certain situations.

I am trying to be the best Father I can be I also lost my Father when I was young at 16 and

realise how much of my life he missed and how he would have loved to see his Granchildren.

I also had a relationship when I was younger with a my partner suffering undiagnosed Bipolar disorder

which at the time i did not understand.

I relationship soured and i tried to break it off and when i got home from work one day I found her in the bathroom cut badly from trying to slash her wrists.

she ended up in a pyschiatric hospital for 2 weeks and when she returned I asked her to leave within a week.

I ended up going out for my birthday with friends and on return I found my house was on fire .

In shock i tried to enter the house to see if she was there but the heat was too intense.

I dont know whether she did it on purpose or not but she did ring my mother at the very early hours of the morning asking if I was there which my mother responded no why should he he lives with you.

I ended up getting an AVO on her for 12months and she has long moved on.

Now my current wife tells me she hates me and has no feelings for me because of what I have become.

She says she will only stay with me for the kids and is putting a lot of pressure for me to return to work which unless you have this illness you do not realise how difficult it may be.

I do not want to be a failure but i am also scared of Failing my family.

I am letting my kids play outside at present and not constantly analysizing the environment

however i only recently got my license back due to speeding when I saw building works going on near the road I wanted to get past it before any dust would hit my car so I had a panic attack and sped up.

I am positive I will get my life back on track however I do realise it is a long difficult road.

Without good role models it is hard to know what to do .. my brother had a lot of difficulty that way.. your kids are definitely better off with you thriving. Thriving means being busy and productive but how that actually looks is best for you to decide.

Perhaps the OCDness is also a sign of goodness and effort and care .. rather than giving up or being cynical.

Relations between the sexes is so often tricky .. I joke I am half bloke .. in that there is a tomboy side to me.. but I can scrub up ok apparently .. when I am not in the garden.

My mother pushed my father to the point that he died young (45) of pneumonia and even then mum was flirting telling the doctor that he was a malingerer. I was too young to put 2+2 together. She never really changed and in the end she did the same thing to me.

Yes mothers of children need help and support but in the context of a loving domestic arrangement .. if there is no love and one party "pathologises" the other instead of working things out there is a psychodynamic problem .. its not just you.

I always thought I was utterly mad .. still think I am madder than 10 hatters ... but now at least I realise that everybody else is too.

.. I dont give advice .. I share and let people make up their own minds.

Cheers

If you have something to go on with your wife then Good Luck.

My ex husband came from a culture where divorce was ok and understanding of me was not

Kids need many things though, including a sense of concern for others and environment and not just stuff... anyway that is my perspective.

cheers

hope and hope that you can stretch up...look over quick thinking hatred talk and move on.

Your story on your ex.......

She tried to burn your home down. That's so shocking. Where were her loved ones carers ?

dear Matt,

That was another Anne mistake.... (my name)

Oops, I meant, to write the hate talk around you in your home ! You know...family.

Thanks for bearing with me! Mbusband just dropped by so, gotta go and admire his new shoes he bought himself !

That was a very disturbed woman. I am glad the police did the right thing by you. I agree with @PeppiPatty we often feel we have to endure things because of the past .. just be kind. I am tired not making much sense.