SPRING-Clean Declutter - Need Help

Hope art room works well for you @Faith-and-Hope. Is storage unit new?

Fixing coat rack √

I moved a heater yesterday as it was blocking access to a drawer. Drawer now in use = sorted pile off floor.

Thanks @Former-Member ..... we needed an art room for the house, or the house would be the art room ..... so now it’s all tidy and workable ..... just waiting for a work-table I have bought to arrive, so there is a space in the middle of the room

where that will belong ......

The store room is not new, but it has been stacked to the hilt until now, with more needing to go in. Having the over-flow unit has given us somewhere to unpack a lot of that furniture, as well as meeting the need as work space, and we won’t have to pay hotel costs for the married ones to come and stay. We have also bought a replacement rental unit and will be renting it out fully furnished, so now we will have the storeroom to put storeroom stuff in ..... and I have some sort of hope to keep the house-house in some sort of order ......

While searching for something else altogether online, I came across an official government guide for social workers dealing with hoarding. Was a bit confronting reading it, but it had some helpful take aways.

-Yes, my comment a few days ago about hoarding having a security aspect was correct.

-The practice of sending someone in to clear out all the junk is not officially recommended, because it causes too much emotional distress for the hoarder, and if they're accumulating for security, they will amass a new hoard in no time flat. They do recommend clearing a limited area where there are safety issues. Around heaters and cooking appliances, walkways and entry points and suchlike.

-They do recommend that workers be carefully selected to be empathetic and be able to keep a cheerful demeanour while working with the hoarder client. Basically, to support them while getting them through the attachment-to-junk problem. So if you've got a helpful friend (or forum thread :D) available to encourage and support without judging, yay!

-Collecting is not hoarding. Collecting has a purpose and sense of order about it. (My collections have purpose... I'm falling down somewhat on the ordered aspect. That I need to deal with!)

-People with a hoarding problem have a reduced ability to distinguish between what has and hasn't got value. (I saw my Dad slipping into this a bit as his dementia got worse. He's always been a stamp collector, including special edition pre-stamped envelopes, but he started carefully collecting every envelope that came his way. Mind you, he did keep them very orderly....)

So yeah... to some degree, I have to admit to a hoarding problem myself. I'm still pretty sure it's because I'm emotionally and mentally overwhelmed, and that state of being overwhelmed reduces the mental energy I have available for sorting and decision making.

Regardless of the why, it's something I need to deal with. I can't see much changing on the "mental space" front any time in the near future, but I need to find some way forward despite that. I know when I have access to a space where I have more control, I do tend to set up that space in an orderly way. Mess is in so many ways "not me", but still I find myself surrounded by it.

Like I said, a bit confronting. But with some helpful challenge in the mix too.

An odd "other side of" thingy the other day- my Younger Daughter has been making a real effort to clean her room. She'd filled up a box and garbage bag full to get rid of, but I asked her permission to sort it into rubbish and recycling. She agreed, with quite a bit of relief- while she'd managed filling them up, she didn't feel like she could cope with sorting too.

So while it was nice and sunny, I took them outside to sort so that everything could go straight to the appropriate bin. Most of it was rubbish/recycling, but among it I found some things that she hadn't intended to throw out. Items of clothing, and a couple of books, including one that she'd mentioned a few days earlier as being a favourite of hers, plus other assorted stuff. So I put these things aside. (Small boxful- don't panic peoples! 😉 )

When she came home and I pointed out the "rescue box", she was at first adamant that she hadn't thrown them out. But with inarguable evidence that she had... Gave her a hug and told her that I understood that she just felt too overwhelmed to sort it out. Turns out that she'd basically grabbed a pile that was under a side table and stuffed it all in.

So 'tis odd... we've got different expressions of being overwhelmed happening at once. Somehow to find that elusive middle ground!

@Smc found your comments on hoarding interesting. I know I definatly have a problem with hoarding. I have made the most progress with reducing my clutter when Darling has quietly encouraged me rather than demand I get rid of stuff.

I am totally overwhelmed with not having had enough time and opportunity to sort progressively across our marriage @Smc ..... with many reasons including workaholic spouse, 3 under 2yo becoming 4 under 7yo then 5 under 10yo, with a disabled one, major surgeries, endless housing construction / renovation / extensions, moving, travel, major schooling issues, 3 schools at once, a couple of flooded homes, weddings, dislocations, more surgeries .... my head spins just listing it ..... and I have been branded a hoarder in the midst of my dishevelled home .....

Yet to anyone who truly knows me, I have a gentle tidy-up habit about everything I do ..... it’s completely natural to me to order things, without having a panic attack if I can’t ..... so the moniker stings ...... but there is no point arguing it. I just keep crawling out from under the rubbish pile and start pulling away at it again like a giant tangled ball of wool. But sometimes I am just tired ......

It really, really helped to understand that we are gearing a condition amongst us that creates chaos and disorder around it, and with that awareness, at least the baby dragons are recognisingvit withon themselves and beginning to take action over themselves, and the big one ...., well .... that one is living in half complete cyclonic chaos, and half rigidly clinical order ......

It actually feels like we are starting to make some headway. Being able to spread out our living spaces has truly helped. I have resigned myself to the fact that our home spaces will be fragmented, but workable like that.

Hubby and I can sooo relate @Faith-and-Hope.

We've had a series of one thing after another too- including physical and psychological illnesses, flooding, ageing parents, studies, homeschooling... ended by me needing major emergency surgery, battles with schools culminating with two eldest needing DSP (and now myself too, with severe depressive disorder), Older Daughter's continued need for lots of support through her MI, and other things too on top of it all.

Sometimes it feels like the blows don't stop for long enough to even catch breath, let alone do anything else. But I was thinking recently... yes, the house is chaotic. However, the family has stayed together despite everything, and our assorted offspring know that we've got their backs through all of it, as much as we are able. So if something has to give in the middle of all the storms, I much prefer that the collapse is in the form of cluttered house, not broken ties. (And for you too- even though things are hard with your Mr, you haven't cut him off, and you're there for your kids. Gold medal in order?)

Hello @Faith-and-Hope, @Former-Member, @Determined, @Smc, @Former-Member

I am throwing things out , but it seems like something else has been put in its place , the things I have thrown out of the cupboard is full up again

so that means that you can see the spare bed again ,

and you can see half of the verandra table again

you could see the kitchen table this morning but not now

@Shaz51, sometimes I can see more progress by looking at what's gone instead of what's still there. Somehow the remaining things seem to expand to refill the empty spaces.