Hello. I need people's advice. I think my boyfriend has BPD.

Hi everyone,

I've been feeling extremely down and lost the past few days as I am unsure and nervous about the relationship I am in. My boyfriend is a 36 year old male whom (after reading a lot online) I believe he has Borderline Personality Disorder.

I have only been with him for a year. When I first met him, he came on really strong, was very passionate and intense, very quick to say 'i love you'... which really took me back. He was constantly wanting reassurance that I loved him, right from the start was very suspicious of me and always questioning if I would cheat on him / was seeing other people (even If I had not given him ANY indication of this) - at times, he would get angry and really accuse me, even going to the extent of calling me a s-l-u-t. I had done nothing to deserve this and would never even think to cheat. But it would be like he had convinced himself that I had done something. I thought this was such weird behaviour, so child-like... which so often, for a 36 year old male, his behaviour is VERY child-like. If I later ask about it and show that I'm upset by being called names, he will just laugh and say he was only joking. Also, at the start, he was constantly telling me I didn't communicate enough, asking me to text him more, asking why he was always the first one to text (he wasn't) and just being extremely needy. Which, I guess, at the start I just saw as him really liking me.

Now, I'm realising so many behaviours that are not right. He gets SO extremely overly angry about everything, even little things. He will get very angry over traffic, if i'm a little bit late, accusing me of not doing enough for him / helping him enough (I do so much for him and feel like I am not getting it back in return), if someone does something he doesn't like (puts a saucepan on the wrong shelf). He constantly thinks people are doing wrong by him and does not seem to empathise. He has been in and out of relationships with females and they all seem to have been very intense but now when he speaks of any its always in bad ways... often calling them s-l-u-t-s (I hate that word, sorry).

It's so difficult because on some occassions he can be SO nice and charming and just really loving. He is at times a really nice human being. But if he gets stressed or angry he just becomes so nasty and mean. He seems to go in and out of phases and will get really into something and then just drop it.

I'm blabbing a lot here, but I'm finding it really hard to get everything down in words. Basically I'm feeling overly stressed in the relationship and really down, I really love him but he is treating me really bad and I don't know what to do.

Thank-you,
Lewyn

(I would also like to add here that he has very big scars on his wrist - from obvious attempts at suicide in the past)