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Topic Tuesday - closed - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

CherryBombSenior Contributor21 Aug 2015, 8:29 pm AEST

Topic Tuesday - closed - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

The idea that your loved one is feeling that they want to end their life can be very confronting. Many people often feel at a loss knowing how to care for someone who is at risk of suicide. What help is available? How can keep your loved one safe? What are the warning signs? How do you start a conversation with them?

It can be overwhelming and distressing knowing what to do. Carers can play an important role in providing support to their loved who is at risk of suicide, yet at the same time, it is hard to know where to start, and it can be hard reaching out for help.

This Topic Tuesday will feature Sarah Coker, Suicide Prevention manager, from SANE Australia, who will share information and offer advice about how to care for someone who is at risk of sucide. She has worked and researched the experiences of people who have been suicidal (see the video below), and brings a wealth of practical advice.

Whether you are just recognising the signs, or have been through it, and supported someone through it, your contribution, experience and thoughts are encouraged.

Click 'like' if you are going to be there.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vl7X7t7Mga4

42 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday - *closed* - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

3formeSenior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 7:49 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Thanks Sarah250. I think that makes it clearer. Its also good to see that we are talking about this. I'm personally feeling uncomfortable having lived through many suicide attempts from my child, who is now doing well and not suicidal anymore. I wish I had had more of this knowledge during those tough times.

In response to: Topic Tuesday - *closed* - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

CherryBombSenior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 7:50 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Welcome to the conversation @Eagleand @3forme

You both raise some similar points - knowing where to start, and tyring to work it out. @Former-Member. Would having conversations with your loved and getting support from services be a place? What are your suggestions about how to start these challenging conversations?

In response to: Topic Tuesday - *closed* - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Unknown userMember25 Aug 2015, 7:52 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Hi Eagle thanks for your question. Yes its not always easy to start a conversation about suicide and it can be very daunting! I think it's important to come from a place where you make clear that your primary concern is for their health and safety and that you care for them. Exactly how you ask is going to be different for everyone, but after talking generally about how they are and trying to create a relaxed environment you could ask:

'I've noticed that you look like you haven't been doing so well lately and I'm worried about how you're going. I have to ask because it's been on my mind, have you been thinking about wanting to end your life?'

People often worry about upsetting someone by asking about suicidal thoughts, but if it's better to talk to them and perhaps risk offending them than not ask at all. If you let them know that it's only because you care so much that you're bringing it up, most people with be grateful that you were brave enough to ask.

In response to: Topic Tuesday - *closed* - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

ShadowSenior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 7:53 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday - open now - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

what if the plan she has will end her life but she has had this plan for a long time. I can't wait for her to do it but if she has this plan for so long I would think that would be a low risk until she tells me she feels bad enough to do it. I guess her plan might never go away

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday - open now - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

CherryBombSenior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 7:58 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday - open now - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

That's a good point @Shadow - @Former-Member what can we do if someone has been suicidal and has had a plan for quite sometime? I understand that people are at a higher risk of sucide if they have had previous attempts.

What type of things can we do, as carers, to keep our loved one safe??

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

3formeSenior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 7:59 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Thanks Sarah, it can be so hard to ask if someone is feeling suicidal, especially a loved one. In fact it can feel terrifying! There is always the fear that if they say yes, we need to have a plan to follow through to get them the right help.

We speak very openly in our home and family about suicide but it took a lot of effort. I found informing myself, setting up a plan to get help and practicing the words I planned to use helped me to stay calm, which helped my daughter.

In response to: Topic Tuesday - *closed* - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Unknown userMember25 Aug 2015, 8:00 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday - open now - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Thanks Shadow for your post. Getting the right care and treatment for someone experiencing suicidal thoughts can be difficult. Unfortunately the health care system does not always support people in the best possible way. Hospitals tend to provide short-term acute care and then send people back into the community to get follow-up from a GP or community mental health team. The reality for many people however is that they may need longer in hospital than they have access to, or after hospital find it difficult to connect to community services which have long waiting lists. I encourage you and your friend not to give up though. A good GP can be a great place to start to get ongoing support and will be able to refer to counseling or other services that she might need. Finding the right professional help can make all the difference.

In response to: Topic Tuesday - *closed* - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Shaz51Senior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 8:03 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Thank you for your words of ---Encourage your loved one to access support for themselves with your help. If the suicidal thoughts are not severe, you might encourage them to make a doctors appointment and take them to the appointment. -- which we have made a appointment tomorrow and have written down concerns together for tomorrow meeting , hope he gets some answers

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

CherryBombSenior Contributor25 Aug 2015, 8:06 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday 25/08 7pm AEST- Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

@Former-Member are there particular crisis services that people can access?

Hi @Shaz51, glad to hear that you've made some plans for tomorrow. I hope it goes well and your loved gets the support they deserve.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday - open now - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

Unknown userMember25 Aug 2015, 8:08 pm AEST

Re: Topic Tuesday - open now - Caring for someone who is at risk of suicide

If someone has had a plan for some time then this state might be their usual state of mind and therefore the risk is not as high. In that case you should look out for changes to their usual way of thinking, i.e. thinking about the plan more often, being more distressed/hopeless, starting to think of a time to carry out the plan or finding means to carry out the plan.

In terms of keeping a person safe communication is the key. Keeping open dialogue about how they are feeling, encouraging them to get professional support and checking in if they are displaying any signs that they are more stressed or down are all helpful things you can do.

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