Life isn't getting better

Hi constantcrying

I am so sorry life is being so hard on you atm. One thing I have learnt life never stays static, it always changes. Something happens. Nothing stays the same. I am sure I am older than you so I can assure you that things will improve. Just be kind to yourself and give yourself a pat on the back for reaching out.

I feel pretty lousy too so I know believe me I know.... in any case here is a virtual *hug* I hope you feel better soon.

I truly believed that once we moved to Brisbane everything would get better. I'd have a job I loved (I do actually love the job I have now, it just doesn't pay very well), and that we'd be going to the beach every weekend over summer. The first year we were here we went maybe three times that I can think of. I just couldn't get my ex-husband to go. I was so frustrated. We bought a house that needed some work done to it and that's all he ever wanted to do. I was so bored. It wasn't how I pictured our lives up here at all. It also made it really hard to make friends as we never went out.

Now I'm by myself i have the time to go out, but don't have the money. Everytime I go out I feel like such a miser as I'm constantly looking at the cost of things. Because my friends up here are all established in their careers, they're all well paid and don't even think about the cost of things and just order whatever they want. The last time we all went out they wanted to split the bill. I had to say no as I just couldn't afford it. I ordered an entree (so I could afford a glass of wine as well) and they all had entree, main and several drinks. No way i could afford to subsidise their drinking. They understood, but it was embarassing to have to say no. Never had to worry when out with friends in Canberra as I was one of the higher paid people in my group of friends so money wasn't a worry there.

I'm sick of worrying about everything. I really thought things would have improved by now, but they really haven't.

How about Doggie Walking groups? I know they have groups like that advertised on the net around Sydney. I am sure they would have something similar in Brisbane. Social and exercise and all good for the head but the biggest thing is only the cost of petrol getting to the meet up and back home again. Even better share a ride with someone.

There are doggy catchup groups, but the problem is that they tend to meet quite early in the morning, around 7:30am. Ever since I started the anti-depressants, I've found it incredibly hard to get up in the morning. The weekends are my chance to catch up on much needed sleep, so I just can't get there in time. And the only group I've found seems to have all of their walks around 1/2 hour drive from me. I could go occassionally, but just couldn't afford the petrol cost on a regular basis unfortunately.

@constantcrying You could start one your own with your work colleagues or your neighbours or both with hours that suit you better. I know it is hard when you can hardly get out of bed but small steps .. walks around the block. A walk in the local park that kind of thing. Working up to walks at beach etc.

I think you are doing really well all by yourself in a strange city so far away from your family. You should be proud of yourself and what you have/are achieving. Try not to worry too much about the money it will sort itself out some how it always does, says she with experience in that department.

I've actually been meaning to sell a bunch of stuff since I moved into this unit as I just don't have the space of it and I kind of feel like it's weighing me down. Thankfully I don't have to pay for storage as I have a garage where I have everything stored as well as the second bedroom. Of course if I can clear out the spare bedroom, that would mean I could rent it out which would help my financial situation heaps. I just have to get motivated enough to get organised and put everything up on Gumtree or ebay or something. I sold a heap of stuff on Gumtree just before we moved from Canberra. Now, I'm feeling really anxious about selling stuff as I'm worried about people showing up at my place. In Canberra I had my husband there if anything went wrong. Here I have noone. Everythings too hard