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Something’s not right

I'm lost

Unknown userMember

I'm lost

Me and my father have never had a close relationship. He spent all our rent money on dugs and gambling. He was abusive and a liare. Never looked after me and used me to punish my mum for leaving him.

He basically blames everyone for his problems. He could never be in the wrong. The people at work where mean so that's why he quit. No it's not because he came to work high on drugs and got fired. I have no friends everyone is against me. No it's not because you have actually stolen from them.

It's painful.

He called me today with vague story. He's story's are always vague and you need to dig for truth. But basically I'm deppresed I jumped infront of a bus but someone pulled me back and I called my doctor and I'm going away and I'm going volouentry. I asked where he said some where safe my husband asked and he said some friends name which is not at all safe.

Like I don't know what to do. Do I need to look after him? I find it so hard to be around him. And I feel bad writing that. But I know if he goes into hospital he's just going to complain and scream like a 2 year old and blame all the doctors and everyone and say they made him worse and it's going to blow big. I just can't deal with this.

8 replies

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In response to: I'm lost

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm lost

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In response to: I'm lost

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm lost

I read a forum not so long ago about a person complaining you only get a reply if you mention I'm going to die or literally fit into the mould click of this group. Since that post I've been reading the post that get tons of replays and the ones that get hardly none and I've come to the realisation that posy is true.

I've also noticed if you don't agree with someone that also stop replying. I assume that's about being in the click.

I though this would be a healthy place but lately it's getting toxic.

In response to: Re: I'm lost

NiteKatSenior Contributor

Re: I'm lost

Hi @Former-Member

Thanks for your contribution here. I think the forums are a great place to to try to process whats going on for you via talking with others. So please don't avoid this if possible. Obviously it's not a perfect environment for dealing with your deeply personal emotional issues such as youve described, but when it works, it works really well.

Thanks for letting us know what is happening. I am moderating tonight and will keep an eye out for you if youre back 🙂

If you wish to chat with someone please dont forget Lifeline 131114

NiteKat (overnight moderator)

In response to: I'm lost

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm lost

Hi @Former-Member I have been off the forums the last few hours and now can't sleep. Some times it takes a while for threads to take off, but I agree with you there are some areas of the forum where it's obvious that deep friendships have formed which can be intimidating to enter I think...
The situation with your father sounds so complex and hard. I'm not great with advice on this type of thing as I decided not to have any contact with my family of origin because they were abusive in different ways. My mother was an addict to prescription meds mostly but I was often her careR and after I had my kids I just couldn't deal with her anymore etc. I know I felt freer when I stopped contract with her and decided that she wasn't my responsibility any more but that's just me...
Hope this helps and that you come back. Look after you

In response to: I'm lost

BunniekinsSenior Contributor

Re: I'm lost

Hi Cat

My father was a very toxic person. He drank and was abusice and I can honestly say getting him out of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I am not going to tell you what to do but for me cutting him off worked.

All the best.

In response to: I'm lost

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm lost

I have cut him off. But now hearing he tried to take his life I just can't be heartless. It's not in me. But I also don't have then energy to look after an adult that acts like a 2 year old!

In response to: Re: I'm lost

Unknown userMember

Re: I'm lost

Hi @Former-Member
That would be really hard 😞 My mother would constantly say to me that she was going to do it (right through my teen years) and would have to stop her and help her etc over and over. was also sometimes manipulative but she was also unwell and her highs/lows from using didnt help.
If he said he was admitting himself maybe that means he is getting some support via a hospital?
Hi @Bunniekins - sorry to hear that you had father like that too... 😞

In response to: Re: I'm lost

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor

Re: I'm lost

Hi @Former-Member, How are you going this week?

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