Topic Tuesday // Significant life changes for young adults // 19 Sep, 7pm AEST

Absolutely @outlander The more you know who you are the better your relationships will be.

Including with your mum and step-dad. It's really easy to feel upset by other people's opinions when we are still deciding what our own are. Especially if we're someone that tends towards thinking we've got it wrong. The stronger you get in your own sense of what's right for you, the more it will just seem like they are stating their opinion and you won't feel as impacted.

Definitely @outlander

Hello @MDT , @Evie1, , are you around , this is very interesting

unfortunatley I cant move out and the situation is so complicated id rather not go into it but long story short when mum, her bf and my siblings mvoe into their own house itll just be myself and my pop whom I care for which is the break im waiting for. Ive been trying for the past year to change my relationships with my mother. Her bf isnt my father but still had a major impact on my life esp since trauma with men are involved. But ive been trying to work with my mother but when I did that she started using my mental health against me ans wasnt helping so I went back to not telling her at all because nyhting to do with mentla health gets me into trouble. Ive been deermined to change things and Im only just seeing a min-ute change in her and the way our family runs. Im expected to take care of my siblings at the drop of a hat and just expected to be there. I never get asked its an unspoken demnad which is hard for me to change.
Im finding it really hard to 'block' what they say because well shes my mother. I have borderline persoality disorder and peoples words and arguments tend to really upset me a great deal.

@Ngaio-ROP

the thing that goes with the libido and relationships in this aspect is ive always been blackmailed by her that if i was to get bf then she would sell my horses up and at that point in time i wasnt interested but now its what i crave. i crave to have relationships like normal people do. if i was to tell her i was dating my life would become alot harder. it makes it harder still becasue im still working out my sexualtityas well

That's a great way to see it @Shakeelah25 And try not to get sucked into the ridiculous idea that it is all supposed to happen by a certain age. All the latest research shows that the older someone is before their first intimate relationship, the healthier that relationship and subsequent relationships are.

Which makes perfect sense to me.

@outlander Sorry to hear about your situation. That is so rough and sounds like what my parents would do as well actually..It absolutely sucks. I can see you are in a bind but maybe the only viable option is to wait it out and play your cards right?? Keep thinking of ways you can eventually branch out and do what is important to you. And continue to vent it out in any form (talking, writing, arts, messaging etc)