Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

@Former-Member but surely if someone set their own clothes on fire to elicit help, they would be doing that as an act of desperation because of some internal pain wouldn't they? So whether their clothes accidently caught alight, or they deliberately set them alight, the reason would be to get help with pain. So...wouldn't that still be help-seeking behaviour???

Hello @glitterbee, sorry @NikNik

I am very interested in emotions , do you find you have lack of emotions or over emotions , hope you don`t mind me asking xx

Hi all, late entry here (got ot love daylight saving ... NOT lol)

I am caring for my wife who lives with BPD, looking forward to gaining some insight tonight to be able to better support her. We have been married for 18 years. She has only been diagnosed with BPD in recent years but had issues with anxiety and depression most of her life .

I have been intrested to see the comments re manipulation, particularly @glitterbee s explanation. I have only recently (after living with it for 18 years) been shown how manipulative my darling has been over the years through the support of a councillor.

I want to point out that in most instances I beliece that behaviour is not intentionally or consiously manipulative, more out of fear and wanting to control her enviornment in order to feel safe.

We have made some positive progress over recent months by implimenting some loving boundaries with the support of my councillor.

@Owlunar I'm sorry to hear that you lot your son. 😞
I definitely understand that feeling of needing that constant reassurance that someone loves me.
I'm sorry that he never had the opportunity to fully heal from this.
I hope you've had plenty of support in your loss and know that you loved him all that you could x

@Shaz51 I would say both. I often have an apparent lack of emotions in situations - most situations actually. I don't generally get super happy or super upset etc.
But when it comes to feeling like I'm going to be abandoned... my world falls apart! But even in those moments, I don't outwardly express a lot of emotions. Its an inward dialogue of desperation that come out in behaviours such as communicating a desire to hurt myself etc.
Something I think that if I were able to cry and scream and express my emotions more, I wouldn't become as manipulative in my communication with others.