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Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

NikNikSenior Contributor28 Aug 2017, 9:05 am AEST

Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

This special edition of Topic Tuesday is to mark BPD Awareness Week.

We recognise that the experts in BPD are those who are living with it each day.

In the lead up to this session, we will be collecting questions they want answers to related to BPD and we invite those living with BPD to join this session to answer their questions, share their experiences, perspectives and smash the myths.

Hit the 'Like' button below to get email reminders and updates.

125 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

NikNikSenior Contributor03 Oct 2017, 7:38 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

Such a diverse range of responses - I guess there were some commonalities between them though.

Frequently mentioned tips were around:

Sticking by me

Having own boundaries

My experiences and feelings are real, even if you don’t understand them

Patience

I'll post the next question in 5 mins 🙂 just waiting to see if there are any more responses to come through 🙂

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

DolfCasual Contributor03 Oct 2017, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

I feel like I need to constantly maintain my skills and do all the things I need to control my BPD because once I stop and go on with life it gets harder.
Whatever you are doing to help yourself. Keep doing it! Don't give up because you think you are cured or something.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

Unknown userMember03 Oct 2017, 7:39 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

@Phoenix_Rising

Being manipulative involves behaving a certain way to get a particular reaction from someone else.

For example, someone might be threaten self-harm or suicide to make sure their loved one doesn’t leave them alone.

It is very important to note though, that not all people with BPD act in manipulative ways.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

NikNikSenior Contributor03 Oct 2017, 7:41 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

That's such an interesting response @glitterbee
What I like about your response is that you articulated so well what drives you try to change people's responses to you.
That fear of abandonment or being seen in a negative light must be really hard feeling to have to experience frequently.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

NikNikSenior Contributor03 Oct 2017, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

Good point @Former-Member - everyone has different experiences and symptoms.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

glitterbeeContributor03 Oct 2017, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

@Former-Member I like that you noted that not all people with BPD act in manipulative ways.

I also want to add to that and say that I don't believe that people who do act in 'manipulative' ways are trying to go out of their way to hurt others. I know for myself my manipulation comes out of fear and sadness. I truly feel like people will disappear, and almost as though the world will end unless I find a way to make people respond to me.
Manipulation often comes out of pain - not out of being a bad person. And recognising and healing that pain is what is helping me to take such wonderful healing steps forward.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

BPD-CinderellaContributor03 Oct 2017, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

I think it's a lot easier to understand our actions, when you think about what is driving us.
For me it's the intense fear of abandonment, fear of being wrong and thus being seen in a negative light, and in general the fear that I'm unlovable.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

DolfCasual Contributor03 Oct 2017, 7:45 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

The worst is when someone triggers me really quickly in a public space or private. The emotions of rage, anger spiral so far up so quickly that I end up having to go and scream to get it out or cry or make a scene really loud just to get the emotions out.
I guess the skills training DBT and CBT Yoga mediation and other training has to be practised all the time because in that moment split seconds can't change unless you have the skills and training in that moment.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

Phoenix_RisingSenior Contributor03 Oct 2017, 7:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

@BPD-Cinderella Um...no. I don't know how to push people to feel emotions. I used to always be told that no one can MAKE you feel anything, you CHOOSE your feelings. By extension, that means I can't make someone else feel anything either.

@glitterbee and @Former-Memberyou said that being manipulative means trying to make people react to you in a certain way. Isn't that help-seeking behaviour? If my clothes accidently caught alight, I would start screaming for help because I wanted people to come and help me. Is that manipulation or help seeking behaviour?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

BPD-CinderellaContributor03 Oct 2017, 7:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Living with BPD - your questions answered // 3 Oct. 7pm - 9pm AEST

@Dolf - I like how you're pointing out constant skill work. I feel like whenever I stop practising mindfulness and other skills to look after myself, is when my BPD overwhelms me and I am unable to control my emotions as best as I usually can.
I think that BPD so often flares up in stressful situations, and it's good to strive for improvement even when you feel 'good'.

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