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A medicator @utopia? - yikes 🥂🍷

Hope you've woken up with a bit more optimism @utopia

Hope you are doing Ok, @utopia. I am a medicator, too! I am very aware of it.

It helps to be aware, I think.

I had an interesting conversation with my bro the other day which gave me even more insight.... he likes a drink on occasion, but doesn't drink to get intoxicated... honestly, I could hardly relate.

I said, "you know that 'high' feeling you get after 3 glasses of wine?"

He said "No. I don't get any kind of 'high' feeling."

I said "Really? How could that be???? You don't feel 'high' when you drink?"

He said "Nope. Well.... maybe, if I drank a whole bottle of wine, but I never want to drink that much."

I said "You don't??? Really?"

He said "No. I don't enjoy that feeling."

Of course, I can't relate to someone who doesn't like that feeling of being intoxicated. I just can't understand why someone wouldn't like it!

That is why I'm a medicator and other people just aren't.

Morning @utopia @Sahara ......

Just an opinion here .....

Self-medicating is a form of distraction .... a very powerful one ..... when there is a lot to distract from, it does a powerful job.

I am sure you can't imagine for a minute diluting the alcohol because the objective is to numb out, but rather than diluting this form of distraction with, say, a mixer ..... can you consider, just consider at some point, "sharing" this distraction with other distractions..... building up a set of distractions that are far less damaging to your body system, and "dilute" it that way ....

Set yourself an obstacle course through the house perhaps -

a load of dishes

a load of washing - washed AND hung out

making the bed

dancing to 3 songs

taking the dog for a walk

The objective being to actually feel the achievement of the small things you are doing ..... engage .... feel the moment with something that is not hurting .... build associations with activities that are supporting your well-being as a "mixer" .....

Forgive me if I am trespassing .... it's just a thought ....

💜❤️💐🌿

Hi @utopia - sorry you are feeling so despondent. @Faith-and-Hope has some great advice. Being hospitalised could be thought of as a vacation in someways. Your decisions are made for you and when you return to your old life you have a feeling of melancholy and disharmony. Does your hospital have any sort of post-discharge groups you can go to for follow up? Alcohol is a very negative substance... I don't drink at all anymore - even one glass makes me feel ill but that could be the medication I'm on. It just doesn't interest me. Either way I think it's just a very toxic negative thing. Probably because I had an alcoholic mother I'm very aware of the damage it does. Just my thoughts anyway. Is there any activity or hobby that you were once passionate about that you can reconnect with? Maybe a sport or craft or music or even look at volunteer work? At least it gets you out of the house. I'm a huge fan of lists - setting myself daily tasks is really helpful. Please don't isolate yourself - I think as members of society we're all obliged to participate even if it's just through internet forums - we all need interaction. I hope today was good for you. Take care.

Hugs @utopia ..... thatnks for that feedback .... I am glad you are going to AA tonight. Just keep getting back up on that horse and going at the jumps again Hon ..... that's all we can all do in our individual situations, but at least in that much we are all in it together .... ❣️

Hugs @utopia

I was feeling sorry for myself the other day when the doctor read me the Blood results -- arrgg , give me the bad news , sending me to a blood specialist and back to the kidney specialist and ended up having 2 cups of coffee after that , really felt like a drink that night

Forward together my sister

Hey @utopia - checking in to see how you're doing. Let us know how the meeting went tonight. Thinking of you and wishing you well.