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utopiaSenior Contributor27 Aug 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

HOME

Well I'm finally home (again).
4 hospital stays in 91 days. Wow. No wonder it feels so strange to be in my own house again. Adjusting will take time. Cooking for myself will take time.
My house is in the same condition in which I left it. A pigsty. So no one room has warmth and charm to lift my mood. Will have to slowly start cleaning up - one room at a time.
I did go and watch my son play soccer in the finals. I'd been so sick this year - thst it was the first game I had been to all year. His team lost. But they play again next week. So still stand a chance of playing the grand final.
My son is still living with my mum. Has been since the end of April. Hopefully he will see how much I've improved on my new anti depressants and anti anxiety meds. Then he may choose to come home soon.
Was up and doing the washing early this morning. But now reading a book in bed.
Am very bored. But have AA Meeting tomorrow night.
And I have my WorkCover IME (independent Medical Examination) - psych interview with a tough psychiatric on the 30th of this month. Think it could be on Wednesday. And then I have my much waited for Psychologist appointment. Can't see him when I'm in hospital (too far away).
So that's it for now. A new thread for a new beginning.
@Zoe7 @soul @Former-Member @Faith-and-Hope @Bast @oceangirl @outlander @Former-Member @Teej @BlueBay @Owlunar

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In response to: HOME

soulSenior Contributor01 Sept 2017, 10:37 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Hope you've had a decent enough sort of day @utopia. Any plans for the weekend?

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 10:03 am AEST

Re: HOME

Good morning @soul. I'm having lumch with a friend I haven't caught up with for ages. Then another load of washing. And cookyself some dinner.
Do you have plans?

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 10:17 am AEST

Re: HOME

Hi @utopia - had lunch with my friend yesterday and have washed this morning so I'm one step ahead of you 😆. Not much else - I'll find somewhere new to walk to tomorrow morning, then tomorrow night my daughter and I are going to see "Loving Vincent" and grab some dinner out afterwards.

Just thinking about what to cook for dinner tonight - maybe fish. I'll head out later and buy it.

Hope you enjoy your lunch out today.

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 10:58 am AEST

Re: HOME

Morning @utopia @soul ..... 🤗☕️💕

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 11:02 am AEST

Re: HOME

@utopia

In response to: HOME

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 11:30 am AEST

Re: HOME

Just beautiful @soul ..... ❣️

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 6:00 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Didn't end up going out to friends for lunch @soul - anxiety got the best of me. Worked myself into a real tight knot.
Helicopter now circling cirling overhead. Want to go out to the backyard and have a smoke - but don't know who police are looking for fromtheir helicopter.
Times like these I feel vulnerable living alone. One of the rare times I wish I had a man around.

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 6:14 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Bummer @utopia. Loneliness can really suck can't it? Did you cancel completely or just postpone? I have only one friend that I can bring myself to see. She knows some of my story but we don't mention it anymore. We meet and she gives me a hug. I want it to last a bit longer - the only human contact I get. Not the same as hugging the pooch.

I nearly told her that I wanted to vent yesterday but didn't want to put her in an awkward position. We were out in public and I knew I'd end up crying.

Just came home from walking the dog. My daughter is out again and ptobably won't be home tonight. I'll have leftover lasagne - the fourth time this week. Am onto my third glass of wine. Feeling flatter than a pancake.

Sorry - that's not very uplifting for you. What do they say? Misery loves company.

In response to: HOME

utopiaSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 7:52 pm AEST

Re: HOME

Happy to share in your misery @soul. Sometimes it's good to have company.
Did you end up talking to your friend about what was on your mind? Sometimes it helps.

In response to: Re: HOME

soulSenior Contributor02 Sept 2017, 8:14 pm AEST

Re: HOME

No - I didn't. I hate to burden her. She has the perfect family - so far removed from my situation. Did tell her that I was lonely and it would be nice to have someone to talk to, to share things with. She said it would happen for me one day.

What does that mean? I thought that was what fairy tales are made of. How do you even go about it? Who did you trust? Had that fourth glass of wine, quickly fed the dog and washed up before I become too intoxicated. Put away the glass and hid the empty bottle in the bin so my daughter won't see @utopia

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