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Scared of new diagnosis

Unknown userMember26 Aug 2017, 7:47 am AEST

Scared of new diagnosis

Hello All,

I know that a diagnosis in mental health is not straight forward and I had my fair share of diagnosises (is that a word) since I started my journey. I have discovered some new and disturbing facts about me and my mental health at a very young age and I am really worried it may change my current diagnosis. And I wonder why I am so scared. I think on one hand I am scared of a medication change and how I will cope with that and what impact that will have on my life. And I am scared that it will make my current diagnosis complex trauma and PTSD (which won't go away) even more difficult to deal with.

On the other hand I am trying to reason with myself, that a diagnosis won't change who I already am and it is only supposed to help me get better. But I am more and more getting to the point, where I just cannot connect with my reasonable mind. I can put it on paper, or type it on the forum, but it doesn't take away the fear.

I remember when I used to get drunk that the world started spinning, and I put my foot out of bed on the floor and focussed on the ceiling lamp, until I fell asleep. This is what my head feels like, but I cannot put a break on and I cannot focus. I cannot see my health professionals for a while, so I numb myself with meds and distract myself. But I am scared that this spiral continues and drags me down even further until one day I won't even be able to put my reasoning on paper 😞

4 replies

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In response to: Scared of new diagnosis

Unknown userMember26 Aug 2017, 5:36 pm AEST

Re: Scared of new diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member could you please move this into another section, something's not right. Thanks.

In response to: Re: Scared of new diagnosis

Unknown userMember26 Aug 2017, 8:19 pm AEST

Re: Scared of new diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member -
I am glad you are trying to reason with yourself that you wont change just because you've been given a label. I found it really hard when i was given labels and felt like i'd been run over, and flattened into something else by the labels. i still struggle with some parts of having a label and the stigma that goes with it. it has meant a large amount of shame for me and worry over the labels affect on going, no matter how 'well' i am, to always be perceived in a different way by some.

In response to: Scared of new diagnosis

Unknown userMember27 Aug 2017, 2:21 pm AEST

Re: Scared of new diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member

You are right, a labelled diagnosis does not change the unique individuals we are or define who we are. Personal choices do the latter. Like any disease or disorder of the body such as cancer or heart disease, it is a tool professionals use to identity symptoms to enable them to apply the best treatment possible. That's all. It can be very disorienting when they change that diagnosis continually though - I personally do not like labels. And starting any new treatment can bring concerns if we don't understand it properly. But if you have confidence in it through understanding and trust your medical professionals it could produce a positive change for the better. Success of any treatment is greatly enhanced through a positive outlook.

In response to: Re: Scared of new diagnosis

Unknown userMember27 Aug 2017, 5:16 pm AEST

Re: Scared of new diagnosis

Hi @Former-Member and @Former-Member

Thanks for your messages.

Not knowing and not understanding is just increasing my feelings of being insecure and reduces my self-worth even more. I know I should not think like that. I am my worst enemy and put too much stigma on myself. I keep thinking, if I am sick, I need to recover. I have a physical genetic disorder and it took me years to accept that (and it's practically invisible and makes a good party joke). And that is basically how I have learnt to cope with what life threw at me. I pushed the abuse away, hid it the same as a lot of other things and joked a lot, especially about the discrimintion I experienced all through my life. I found/find it easier to make a joke out of it and pretend it didn't hurt me, pretend I was tough enough. Harden up, buttercup. I am a very compassionate person when it comes to everyone else, but myself.

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