Overwhelmed and not coping

@oceangirl

Ahhh my dear @oceangirl - I was surprised to read this. You were feeling so good on the return of your holiday, visiting people and enjoying your volunteer work which you are so good at. So many positives. What do you think is at the root of the constant anxiety and fear you are experiencing that is draining you? Is it fear of the future or feeling not able to cope with life alone for now? Please know you are safe to talk openly and that I am here for you.

The repairs of the house is a pain no doubt - but it will get done and taken care of. Is anything else worrying you? ❤️xx

Hi again @Former-Member I think the anxiety is back, I am not sure why. I had specialist appointment yesterday with my psychiatrist and she saw me in the renal ward/dialysis unit. I was feeling ok before just a little tired but after seeing her I was really distressed. The room we used was not really nice and I didn't feel comfortable there. I am not sure how to feel and I have mixed feelings. The people in there were really sick and this has just upset me. I tried to phone my speciaist today but she was not there. I am just feeling really overwhelmed atm.

The house repairs will be taken care of but that will hold back my admission to hospital. I need the shower leak fixed because my mum and dad will be staying at my place with the dog unless I put her in kennels for a few weeks. I need to replace shower screen and before new shower screen can be installed,I need to fix the shower tray(regrouting and resealing) - as there is moisture in the wall cavity. When that is done, I will get the the pest control back to put in a vent and do what they need to do.

But today I got the plumber out and he assess for water leaks, he couldn't find a leak but that doesn't necessay mean there is no leak. He did a water pressure test, there was no problem. He also seviced the tapes and shower head.The man that came out to do the regrouting and sealing thinks that the wall needs to be opened up and to check in there. Btw there is a damage tile and gap in there so that maybe the cause of the water leak and that will be fixed. I will get the screen repaced, tile faced,regrouting and sealed, if the leak continues then I will inspect further. What do you think?

I am not sure why I am struggling just a combination of things occuring and my thyroid is probably underactive again. Thank you for messaging me, I think its because I don't feel supported and that I have to face my struggles alone and that causes me a great deal of anxiety and fear.

Hi again @Former-Member

Thank you for listening. I don't handle stress too well, I am afraid. The house repairs will hopefully be taken care of, it is just finding the source of the water leak, we think we have found it. I think the house problem will take a few weeks to fix and I don't want to go into hospital until I know it has been resolved.

I will wait to hear back from the hospital, I will call them Tuesday if I have not heard from them on Monday. The hospital suggested I get local support until I am admitted back into hospital. On Monday I do my volunteer work. Tuesday I have exercise physiology appointment, Wednesday shower screen quote. Then I will get the shower screen removed and then the basin of the shower fixed and sealed and then the new shower screen will be fitted. I think I have a handle on that now.

Thanks for listening and caring. I just have just go back to basics until this passers. I have to just keep on trying to normalize what I am feeling. Btw do you think I should call the hospital on Monday.

Hi @Appleblossom

Hello again my dear @oceangirl

Have you told your psychiatrist how you felt when she saw you in the renal/dialysis ward? I think this is important as it seems to have triggered a fear, an insecurity in you. Are you afraid of illness and being alone it in my friend? Worried you would not cope with that alone in the Future? This is important to address. Perhaps it triggered something from the past?

Trust me my friend when you will be in need someone will come along and be there for you - will help you out. Do you have the opportunity to engage a social worker or a support person that can help you in situations when you are in hospital, sick and alone dealing with it. I think this would help your anxiety. Am I on the right track?

Something when fears of the future and feeling we won't cope with certain things in it can overwhelm us and make us not cope in the present. You will get back to enjoying your life again my friend we just need to get to the bottom of this anxiety and finding the right people in your life that can help you emotionally at these times. Whether they be professionally or support groups/social groups that can offer you more support so you don't feel so alone. Ask them at the hospital if there any such ongoing support when you get out.

I wish I could be there for you my friend as you would never be alone in your struggle again. There are others out there who you will eventually meet whom would do the same. I have a feeling there are deeper insecurities at place here that are triggering you. You will work them out with support and everything will be alright and you will settle again. Trust me, your future will be bright and you will be flying out back to Hawaii having a ball before you know it. Love you my friend. It will me alright - trust me and take heart. Sweet dreams

Hi @oceangirl

How have you been today? I have been thinking about you. I do understand what you mean by being sick of the draining anxiety and fear - the struggle of coping all alone. It is hard. Someone as beautiful as you shouldn't be doing it alone. If I could be there I would - but I will be here for you this way whenever you need me or wish to talk.

I am sorry I can't advise on the plumbing as I am clueless in this area.

Hospitals effect me the same way they do you. Although the best places to be when sick they are lonely and unhappy places filled with suffering reminding one of our mortality. And that can be confronting. My husband has been in them a lot and it's at these times I can feel so alone and afraid. But we pull through somehow as in reality we are not really alone, you are not alone my friend. Remember this always. Life's struggle can be weary at times but it's what we do here that matters and it's all worth it in the end. I do hope you find the support you need to help you through this rough patch. One day at a time my friend - don't look back or too far forward and worry about the future or the fear and anxiety will continue to overwhelm, live only in the now knowing that good things await you and that you are never, ever truly alone. Here for you. Hugs xx ❤️

Hi @Former-Member

I have really struggled today, sorry I didn't respond to your earlier message. I think there is quite a bit happening for me. The water leak should be okay, I have it sorted and covering all bases. I will get the back of the wall looked at (pipes) and do the sealing and regrouting.

I don't think I was coping too well when I saw her on Thursday. I have been feeling quite sensitive and it does not take much for me to feel anxious and fearful. My specialist can be rude and abrupt at times. I remember early on when I saw her I would always be upset. It still hurts me now thinking about it. I try not to think too much about the future because that just make me anxious.

Thank you for your support and friendship, I know you would be here if you could. I know I am struggling now but next week I will be okay. I just worry about if people like me etc, I know we all do it but I seem to do it more when I feel vulnerable.

I have just paged my specialist and hopefully I will get a response soon. I am struggling to function atm. I wish I could open up more. I am not sure why people give me such a hard time, I really don't know. I think another think I am afraid of is being judged.