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Son with constant termoil

JbckCasual Contributor24 Aug 2017, 9:24 am AEST

Son with constant termoil

Good morning, as it's a new day I'm hoping my son will have a better day today. He is 3o and has a duel diagnosis with BPD, I feel he is getting worse not better even with intense therapy. Rejection sends him over the edge, being gay with mental health issues seems to scare people away, the pain he displays is so heart wrenching when he just wants to love and be loved. We spent another night keeping him alive and safe, it's becoming more frequent and settling him is becoming more difficult. It leaves a sense of helplessness when we give everything of ourselves to support him. At times mental illness can just be so bloody tough for carers.

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In response to: Son with constant termoil

JbckCasual Contributor08 Sept 2017, 12:25 am AEST

Re: Son with constant termoil

Hi Mohill,
Thanks for your words. I think your right about informing his therapist,it seems that every other day he is just debilitated by emotion, and yes it's extreme, he keeps saying you don't know what's in his head, and of course we don't and never pretend to but do empathise with his pain.
I have felt guilt the last couple of times in that I've felt annoyed with him, frustrated, but it just wears you down, please know we support him in every possible way. And your right, those struggling with mental health do perhaps let it out with the ones closest. As I know he isn't as full on around others. Boy I feel like a ranting whining mother. I do find it's hard to express my feelings to others, other than my husband.
Glad I have found this forum to speak with others.

In response to: Re: Son with constant termoil

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2017, 9:10 am AEST

Re: Son with constant termoil

hello @Jbck

nice to see you again

feeling guilt, shame, anger, frustration all very natural feelings when caring for someone whom appears to not have motivation or desire to go on. This is aside from someone having a mental illness.

It is a good thing that you recognise and acknowledge these feelings...do not bury them

the love and determination that you continue to hold for your son is inspiring

You rant all you want....if you want to call it whining....you whine all you want...try not to berate yourself..

I work very hard at living in the now....not always successful....a work in progress

In response to: Re: Son with constant termoil

Unknown userMember08 Sept 2017, 4:50 pm AEST

Re: Son with constant termoil

hello @Jbck

Thought that I would just pass by and see how you are today? also to see if your son is feeling any less distressed?

No need to reply with a lengthy response if you are busy or just have no energy left.

I do understand.

Thinking of you

In response to: Re: Son with constant termoil

Shaz51Senior Contributor08 Sept 2017, 4:54 pm AEST

Re: Son with constant termoil

Hello @Jbck, how are you today xx

Hello @Former-Member, @williamtell, @jude, @Bluebottles

In response to: Son with constant termoil

JbckCasual Contributor08 Sept 2017, 6:52 pm AEST

Re: Son with constant termoil

Hi, I'm feeling a bit less overwhelmed at the moment, having a few days break, I mean that in the kindest possible way!
Been living with his behaviour for over 15 years but some times I just get fed up!
Mind you he's taught me so much and opened my eyes which would have otherwise been closed.
Hope you all have a fabulous weekend.

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