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Soap bubble

Unknown userMember22 Aug 2017, 12:34 pm AEST

Soap bubble

Why can't I live in a soap bubble, at least for a while?

I'd like to paint and puzzle and work with clay, I'd like to bake cookies and decorate them with hundreds and thousands. I'd like to stay in bed all day and cuddle my teddy. I's like to watch the clouds go past while I lie in the grass.

People say, why don't you go to hospital? I know, I'd wanna stay. I don't wanna be a responsible adult and I don't wanna look after myself. Tell me what to do and I will. Sometimes I will even feel like doing something... But most of all I would like to sleep and cuddle my teddy.

I function and I do what my husband tells me to do, sometimes a little bit firmer than he used to, he says, otherwise I won't do it. So I do it to show him I still function. I might not earn money, but I still do something.

But most of all I would like to live in my little soap bubble, with butterflies and unicorns and lots of cuddly toys.

5 replies

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In response to: Soap bubble

CheerBearSenior Contributor22 Aug 2017, 12:54 pm AEST

Re: Soap bubble

Hi @Former-Member

I'm sitting in a bubble at the moment. It's not a soap bubble because I think that would sting my eyes, but it is a bubble.

I love unicorns too. And glitter, sparkles, soft fluffy things (especially pink ones) and rainbows. I think being an adult can be totally overrated sometimes.

I can imagine it would be hard to feel like you have to function for the sake of showing someone else you can. I can also imagine being told to function firmly would add some extra challenges.

I have to step out of my bubble now and do the adult thing even though I so don't want to, but I wanted to say hi before mine burst.

I hope your afternoon is good Kirin, and you have time to squeeze in a cuddle with something soft and cuddly.

In response to: Soap bubble

Unknown userMember22 Aug 2017, 1:36 pm AEST

Re: Soap bubble

I don't think I deserve better 😞

In response to: Soap bubble

Unknown userMember23 Aug 2017, 11:46 am AEST

Re: Soap bubble

I have just read the post op letter from hospital explaining my fathers diagnosis, his operation, consequences and eventual death through multi organ failure for the final time. He had just turnt 53. They f*cked up. I've got to let go. It's been many many years. It still rips me apart.

I've shreddered the letter now. There are so many memories I never want to be reminded on again.

In response to: Soap bubble

Unknown userMember23 Aug 2017, 8:11 pm AEST

Re: Soap bubble

Soap bubble, soap bubble
Where have you gone?
Im sitting here
And I feel all alone
The meds make me hazy
The alcohol helps
My soap bubble's burst
And I feel like I burn

Soap bubble, soap bubble
Where have you gone?

In response to: Re: Soap bubble

CheerBearSenior Contributor25 Aug 2017, 9:18 am AEST

Re: Soap bubble

Hi @Former-Member. How are you getting on?

I've been thinking a little about your soap bubble. When you wrote about it the other day, it touched me. I spend quite a bit of time here on the forum in a nest. I can see what the nest looks like clearly and imagine it being full of all kinds of feel good things. I escape to the nest to think, chat, listen and sit on my own or with whoever is there too just 'being' in whatever way feels right at the time. I use my phone for the forum, so in a way the nest has become part of my phone. Because my phone is almost always with me, I can now just touch it through my pocket or hold it in my hands and I find myself in the nest, where it is safe, comfortable and right.

Life can be really tricky. It is tough to want to be able to do things that for heaps of reasons, you just can't. I find it hard to live happily when all around me I see reasons to feel unhappy. It's a struggle to live the way I'm expected to live, when the expectations of me are not me. Like I imagine you and your soap bubble are, I dream of living in a different way to how I am.

Having the ability to retreat to a nest, whether it is by visiting it here or in my mind, has been one of the most helpful things for me to lesrn to do. I wonder whether it might also help you to imagine and create your soap bubble in whatever way you want, and visit it as often as you like when you can't get to it in person? Maybe in posting about it the other day, that's what you were already doing, or maybe it wouldn't help you to do this and what I am talking about wouldn't work for you. It's an idea I wanted to share with you though.

I hope things are ok for you today. I will keep an eye out for any bubbles that might be floating around.

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