A brief summary of my life w mental illnesses

Hello @Former-Member,

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your story.

We have quite a few similarities in our lives - anxiety from a very young age, ED starting in our teens and continuing beyond, trouble finishing university, sexual assaults and abusive relationships, an artistic bent, as well as a love of running and reading 🙂

It's good to have you here and I hope you find this as friendly and supportive a place as I have.

Thank you for the replies @Bec1985 & @chookmojo - It is good not to feel alone in this fight for our lives.. I have my partner who is my best friend & a few close female friends. I have some casual friends I made at a running club last year, but now I have moved from the city to the country it is hard to have much contact. I am having a break from facebook at the moment. I'm not a big fan of casual friends anyhow. I prefer a few close strong relationships. One of my close female friends has bipolar (met in hospital in 2006) & the other one has bulimia, depression & OCD (met at running club early last year). I just recently had to get rid of a "friend" who had become a toxic friend. She was my personal trainer & has a high profile nutrition job in the fitness industry. I think it might be too hard to be friends with people who don't have mental illnesses themselves. My partner does not have a mental illness, but he is a very lucky & rare find. When I joined this forum I also came across the report on people living with psychotic illnesses - social isolation was found to be very prevelant. That is true for myself. While last year I did find the running club - lots of people were accepting, but if you got too close like I did with the toxic friend they hurt you. Some people shunned me altogether when they found out I had schizophrenia. We had to move from the city to my partner's mother's property in the country, because I have my mental health worsened & my partner stopped working to be my carer. We can't afford rent, with my medical bills. So that has isolated me further. I see my psychiatrist in the city I moved from once every month usually - although more frequently at the moment, as I've been having more trouble than usual. When I see the psychiatrist I usually catch up with one or more friends. I hope you two have some friends & good support. My family offers barely any support. I have decided my partner & now my new kitten is my family.

@chookmojoIt is nice to know I share so many things with another person - although most are painful things to share. I went for a run after about 3 weeks off from running today & I couldn't run the entire distance (I had to take walking breaks). I had a good year running last year despite depression & a lot of psychosis. I entered a lot of events & was really happy with some personal bests I made in 5 km (25:59), 10 km (55:34) & I ran my first half marathon in 2 hours 7 minutes & 42 seconds. Sometimes however I wish I loved a sport less focused on personal bests. Maybe it is all the running club people I have on facebook that make me focus so much on it! I do also love yoga, but classes are so expensive expensive.

Anyhow, I have babbled on.... @Bec1985I will try to give support - I have read quite a lot of posts, but often I find them after there has been a huge conversation & I don't quite know how to join in or there are just too many posts to read. I went to schizophrenia chat rooms from late 2010 to late last year. I finally left as people were attacking me. This seems like a much safer place to give & get support.

Be well & Stay safe.

Hi @Former-Member

I'm glad you have shared with us how you're feeling. Would I be right in assuming you haven't told you're partner how you're feeling right now?

Do you have any stratgies that you use to get you through when you feel like this?

There's a great thread called The Coping Box where members have shared what helps / distracts / encourages them. Maybe you would find that helpful?

Also, just a FYI, tonight is Friday Feast, which you're welcome to join us for if you just want some company?

If things escalate tonight, it's really important that you speak to someone. All of the crisis services are really helpful if your level of distress increases:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or crisis online chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Hi @Former-Member

I used to do a lot of walking .. not been running since I was a kid. I know what you mean about expensive yoga classes .. I used to do yoga a bit at home .. I vary my physical activities .. they all have to be gentle cos of disc problems.

This is only the second forum I have been in .. the first I tried a two years ago was about rational skepticism .. didnt last long there .. didnt find them that rational by the way!

I only heard about Personal Bests when I took my kids to Little Aths .. I thought they were a good idea at the time .. but I guess .. if we are driven .. and I am dreadfully driven .. we can find anything to give ourselves a hard time about.

Just talking .. posting .. hope you are ok