Is it worth it?

Hello,

it is the 15th August 2017. It is 2017. No more suffering sounds like such a nice option. No more discussions with my husband. No more whinging noises from the pets around me. No more pressure to talk to my mum. No more pressure to start work again. No more trying to work on my past. It always comes down to that. I feel empty, living dead. My mind gives me rational reasons to hang in there. But I am tired.

I know the game plan, I know what to do right now to ease the pain, but why do I need to know that? How come life can't just be good? I find self-care, self-compassion and everything "self-" just draining and a necessity to manage myself. I just want to be free again.