Urgh Family

Hello @Former-Member

I hope the family dinner ended quickly, I can see how annoying that would have been for you, how did you manage to get through it? How long are you on your family holiday for?

Lunar 🙂

Hi @Former-Member. Yes thankfully the dinner ended very fast! I just hid in the room for half of it and came out for parts of it. It just showed me I'm not ready to be around them.

I was just sitting there and was like I'm literally going to scream. They just all talk at once and don't listen to each other and I'm like why can't they see how bad this is. And none of them hugged me. He's auntys looked at me like I'm diseased. They just kept looking down at me. I also cooked a dish that took hours and my husbands favourite and not one of his sisters of auntys tried it. My partner thinks I'm blowing things up but I'm like pfft that was an attack on me. I came so close to screaming at them. I was shaking in anger.

I've got another week left with the family. I've lost all patience with everyone. I'm not controlling myself so I just walk away. And I feel mentally exhausted. I'm just strarting to break. My anxiety levels are through the roof though. Like really bad. I'm anxious all the time and really fearful.

I've started a new medication and I just don't feel like it's working at all. Like im not covered and I'm floating with nothing holding me and I'm far away from my support team. I'm just telling myself I'm on a low dose so I don't get side effects and when I get home they will get it to a point where I don't feel empty inside.

Really feeling empty inside. I'm just not finding joy.

I felt like that on meds it was awful like something had sucked the life out of me. I would see if you can see your doctor.

@Eden1919 hello. No it's not the medication sucking the life out of me. I've had that before and felt like a zombie with zero emotions and it sucks. I literally feel like this medication is doing nothing. Like I'm on a low dose and need to go higher. I just literally feel mad and sad and snappy and it's getting worse every day.

Sadly @Eden1919 I'm on holidays so I can't see anyone until I get home.

Fingers cross I do. But it's going to be shaky. I just hope when I get back I can go straight into work and don't need recovery time.

Peace be with you, Cat. You are not alone! I have a family birthday celebration to attend on Sunday, and I typically need to take medication to cope with such events. The celebration is for my brother in law. I am treated poorly at these events, and hate being regarded as a leper.