Powerlessness

Hi @yikes

Welcome to the forum, as lisajane said i hope that it helps to be able to talk about things

Goodness that does sound scary. Was it always like this or did you previously have a friendly or a hi/bye relationship? Have you ever been able to speak with him and find out why he is acting the way he is? (I know you said he ignored you when you asked him to stop). Or speak with any of your other neighbors to find out if they have any background infomation or have ever experienced something similar to you?

I guess I am wondering if there could be any other reasons such as he has a mental health concern (perhaps trying to mask it with alcohol) and he is worried about you, hence the watching/following. Or if there is some way for you to resolve it?

what do others think?

Hello @yikes

That is so horrible, especially in your very own garden where you should feel comfortable. I had some neighbours that would do this to me out the front, they were a group of loud men and would stare, laugh and say things under their breathe to intimidate me when I would come home , although when my boyfriend was with me, they would say nothing. I got so sick of feeling scared coming home that I plucked up the courage to just yell out "G'day?!" to them, they didn't say anything back, but it seemed like because I was friendly instead of reactive, the novelty of it wore off. And in a way I was showing that I wasn't intimidated too.

Just an idea, but your situation sounds a lot more intense, so you could even say to him, "look if you don't stop laughing at me and intimating me I will be talking to the police", that could be a way of letting him know that you can't be walked over and continally intimidated?

Lunar

hello @yikes , how are you today my friend

Thank you for replying ,

I told the man nextdoor that I was gathering evidence to tell the police about his taunting me. So he bandied together with his mates and got a crooked policeman on board.....now I have been charged with stalking 5 people. I feel so so so ....just indescribable.....that they know what they have been doing yet they can get away with this. Even getting to this point with it, they laugh openly at me, they revel in their power. I live in a community of 450 people and half of them are gleeful about the fodder for rumour, the rest just dont want to know about that element of the community.

There's got to be a way a woman can come out on top of this. I have always been a feminist and I feel like I am just incompetent and counter productive and useless at showing what I am all about. I really need someone to talk with about it , I'm in deep melancholy

Someone who replied asked why they are doing this: My neighbours who are doing what was described in my first post have had the whole side of the hill to themselves for 20 years and hate the fact I bought the bush block, the view from their windows, and am in the process of having a house built there.

Stalking is a criminal offense and all along they have wanting to scare me away.

sending you tender hugs @yikes

Been a while since you have been here , so glad to see you @

I wish hugs would be enough to get those types of people out ot my life, but unfortunately 3 other women have been driven off this Island in the past 2 years, one of whom is a consistent hugger. I am facing male against female torment BIG TIME, so big time I just cry and cry and cry about how I am going to deal with it. If anyone there knows anything about domestic violence, they know similar tactics are used there too - blaming the victim. The difference is that these are people that live near me rather than with me, and they insist on interfering with my life. Now they have got one policeman onboard by using their previously demonstrated fine talents with lying, I just cant believe that people can be like that, I feel so fragile and all my muscles ache with fear, I've never run into people like that before.