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23 year old son

23 year old son

Hi everyone

I saw an ad for this site online and thought it sounded very appropriate for me. I will start off by telling you a bit about my family.

I have 4 children - my two boys and then I have two step children, a girl and a boy.

My youngest son died in 2015, due to a variety of decisons he made that eventually lead him to relying on life support, which we chose to switch off after 7 days. He would be 21 this year. My little baby now looking down on us.

It has been very difficult for our family these last couple of years, but we have been strong for each other and pulled through times we thought we really wouldn't.

My other son, 23, I thought was going along relatively ok until the last 4 - 5 months. He came to me quite upset earlier this year asking for my help to book a GP appointment due to what appeared to him as very bad anxiety. I helped him booked an appointment and urged our local headspace to let him in as soon as possible despite an apparent 12 week wait. He has been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

He has been seeking help from a psychologist and taking medication, only been to two of his psych appointments and recently seemed very physical unwell, extremley anxious, bad tempered. I found out he has stopped taking his medication abruptly.

I'm just stuck on how to help him when the help was offered and seemed to be ok but he has now started to refuse it. He lives out of home, plays football at semi professional level, and is the manager of a local cafe, so he is doing very well for himself, I just don't understand how I can help him when he has just decided not to seek help anymore and will not speak to me or anyone about it. He needs this support and has said that himself but keeps brushing off the idea of telling his gp what has happened.

93 replies

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In response to: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

I'm worried about him @soul and sad for him, he is doing so well and can't see it. I'm so proud of him and he feels like he isn't doing enough

In response to: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

Not that I'm aware of @soul He keeps this all in so I don't imagine they would know

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

That's the depression talking. When you can't see the good - only the bad. When you sink into this deep hole and can't find a way out. You start thinking that nothing is ever good enough and nothing will ever be good again. The negativity takes over @lovemyboys.

It's often a chemical imbalance and a mood stabiliser or anti depressant may kick start a better mind set for him. What do you think are the chances that you can get him back to a doctor?

In response to: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

@lovemyboys sonetimes its hard to see how well your doing when it seems the world's crashing in
I hope things ease for him and he comes around in the am. He knows hes got you there ❤❤❤
I hope your ok and manage tk get some sleep yourself. Ill chat with you tomorrow my meds are kicking in and making me tired. Sleepwell ❤❤

Good night to you too @soul ❤❤❤

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

He just said to me I'm sorry I'm not good enough, I suck at my job, I'm not doing anything you'd be proud of, I'm doing nothing with my life @soul
I feel like getting him back to his GP might be asking him to cut his left arm off

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

Is this the worst you have seen him @lovemyboys? You could reassure him every day but he still might not believe it. His self esteem appears to be pretty low.

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

@soul Never seen that from him before. He has recently been promoted at work and is now a manager, he likes but it may be worrying him a bit and adding to his stress. He has worked so hard for position.

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

Having to put up this front that he has his act together when deep down he doesn't feel that way must be very difficult for him @lovemyboys. Even if it isn't true, his thoughts are telling him it is. He needs to realise that what he thinks isn't reality. Perhaps point out some things that he has got going for him because he can't see that or he just overlooks them and focuses on the bad stuff in his life.

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

He has soooo much going for him @soul When he was a baby he was sick we weren't even sure if he was going to make it, let alone be a healthy 6'6 man playing football almost professionally, managing a cafe, has a drivers licence and living out of home, and an excellent surfer

In response to: Re: 23 year old son

Re: 23 year old son

It seems that he does have a pretty good life. But he can't see it. Getting that promotion is a great thing yet he may feel that he isn't up to the task. Playing football at that level is something only the top sportsmen can hope for and again he has doubts about his ability. He thinks he's a fraud. He doesn't believe in himself. That is very sad and must be awful for you to hear and watch.

I'm sure you are offering him lots of love and support. If he isn't happy, there is something drastically wrong. I would urge him to rethink medication or counselling at the very least.

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