QueenieSenior Contributor
Life Stress
How does everyone seemingly cope with life stress? I don't seem to be able to very well at all. I can't work because I cannot tolerate stress mentally and physically. I cannot tolerate close interpersonal relationships very well because I can become easily stressed and/or take negative comments personally. I can barely handle my affairs due to the stress involved in just daily living... making sure I take medications, eat, shower, dress, schedule and go to appointments. I feel so stupid sometimes and even that stresses me out (I try to look as intelligent as possible and despite having a high IQ, I feel stupid when I am studying because I cannot manage stress).
Some examples of this are as follows. Next week I have an appointment with a recovery based organisation to hopefully get more support for myself in the community. I submitted the referral in February and despite being told it is only a 2-month wait, I've only now been called up 5 months later. I get stressed because this means I will need to apply for support via the NDIS, which is incredibly stressful. My Mrs is hoping to get some help with it by way of her carer's counsellor for the paperwork and assessments. I am also stressing because one of the known outcomes of this organisation is pushing people into work (volunteer or paid employment). I want to study, so I am not sure that I will fulfil their criteria to obtain any sort of support.
Added to that I am stressed I have nobody to discuss my mental health with in a professional manner. I barely see my psychiatrist anymore (he is soon to retire and is phasing me out of his books), my GP doesn't feel qualified because she knows nothing about psychosis and I've used up my 6 sessions this year with the psychologist and am not able to get any more until 2018. I feel like I've just been professionally dumped by those who promised me I would be supported in my relatively new surroundings in the city. There is a peer-led organisation I went to a couple of times, but I found them extremely cliquey and weren't all that welcoming to newcomers.
I am also stressed that I am living healthy, getting plenty of good exercise, but I am not losing any weight due to the side effects of medications.
All this life stress leads to depression in me. I feel like I can't discuss how I feel with anyone anymore. I am taking a big risk posting it on here when my Mrs can read it. She says I shouldn't post on here and rather discuss things with her. But I feel like she doesn't understand. Severe stress makes me very unwell and means I miss out on things in life. This, in turn, means I think I am a failure which causes more stress. It's a vicious circle of never ending madness isn't it?
Anyway thanks for reading my ramble. If you made it this far, you deserve a medal because I cannot seem to put thoughts together properly today.
