BPD - let's stop the stigma.

Hi everyone,

New to the forum. I have actually started a blog and wanted to share my first piece with you all.

A change is a comin'

Your actions are a powerful force for change. But can little ol’ me really make a difference?

A few years ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). The clinical definition is it’s a complex mental disorder that affects people’s thoughts, emotions and behaviours, making it difficult to cope in all areas of life. The way I would describe it? Hell on earth.

And, as if this isn’t hard enough to deal with, there are common misconceptions about the disorder. People with BPD are often labeled as ‘bad’, ‘manipulative’ or ‘attention-seeking’. It’s almost like we are the leprosy of the psychiatric world!

Recently I attended an appointment with a hospital psychiatrist to review my medication. This was arranged through my general practitioner. As I sat across from the psychiatrist, she asked a few basic questions about who I was. We got to the part where she verbalised that I was a BPD patient. Instantly her tone sharpened and she tensed up.

A few more basic questions and she had summed me up as a time-waster, someone who was manipulating my doctor, and an attention-seeker. Tears streaming down my face, she just kept going. The cherry-on-top was when she told me that I couldn’t possibly care about my children if I was engaging in the harmful thoughts.

At the end of this appointment she looked at me and gruffly said, “I hope I didn’t come across too blunt but you really needed to hear these things. Now, why don’t you grab a coffee on the way back to work to cheer yourself up.”

Walking out, I wanted to hurt myself very badly. I have not done that for five months – a pretty champion effort. But the storm was brewing. I shook my head almost as if shaking the idea out. In my life I’ve fought bigger monsters and I wasn’t going to succumb to the dangerous cycle of self-harm. Not today.

So, it is with this determination that I am pledging my life to fighting against these misconceptions. I’ve had enough of people suffering this disorder being treated like this. I am doing this for all those suffering with this disorder, as well as for those who will be diagnosed in the future. If I could grant you all ever-lasting happiness, I would not hesitate. We deserve better than this and I will do whatever it takes.

We don’t ask to have this disorder and we do the best we can. All we want is for someone to help us! So, let us all rally to raise awareness about this disorder and eliminate all the harmful and wrong opinions!

Love to you all. x