Diagnosis - again!

Hello everybody,

I am back. I am back, and stuck. I have gone back into my profession and have been travelling well, performing well and ticking all the boxes for my mental health. I have made friends, moved out of my parents', supporting myself on a good income, joined a netball team, I eat well and I see a psychiatrist and GP regularly. I had some symptoms early in the year, and jumped on them quick-smart with my mental health team.

So things are fine and dandy, right?

They asked me to apply for a permanent job. YAY! I am happy, everything is fine! Five years on the meds and looking after the mental health and all is well. I am OVER it. I am a normal human etc. etc.

Then I declared a mental health issue in my application for permanency. And they want the 'nature of the illness' which my GP says is the actual diagnosis of schizophrenia. I went to the psychiatrist, and he diagnosed me again (5 years later) with schizophrenia. So my GP has written a letter to the employer stating I am fit to work full time, but with the actual S word in it.

This has me worried.

I haven't disclosed my illness in this workplace. I am deadset fearful of the stigma attached to the schizophrenia and my professional responsibilities/identity. I am deeply torn to not even go for the permanent job or just stay temporary so I don't have to disclose.

I am talking it over with loved ones. I am looking at different perspectives. I guess I am coming to terms with the fact that it's with me for life, that I can't just shrug it off and pretend everything is ok, all the time. I manage it and I manage it well, and the medical certificate saying I am fit for work is practical and straight to the point. But I am petrified of this whole ordeal!

I feel like doing a big facebook post and saying I am normal and not a 'psycho' so all my colleagues can see it. Obviously I won't. I feel upset that I have come so far, yet I am still riddled by a diagnosis that might cost me my livelihood.

I wonder if there are any legal services for these kind of matters? Or any advice from those with past experiences particular to a diagnosis of schizophrenia?

Thanks.

Rosie