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Am I right or wrong?

B45Senior Contributor25 July 2017, 1:26 pm AEST

Am I right or wrong?

Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've been here. Hope you're all doing ok. I've been going alright - a continual work in progress. Three months ago I went away for a week on my own for a bit of r & r. It was lovely being pampered & meals cooked for you. In the last few nights of my stay I had lovely chats with someone there. We seemed to get on quite well & enjoyed each others company, but we knew it couldn't be anything more than friends as he is half my age & I'm married with two older kids. He is very mature for his age & has a lovely soul. Once I left we kept in touch. It was one sided, I did most of the talking, he would respond but not as much as me. I realise now I am craving emotional connection with someone as I feel I'm not getting that from my marriage. Hubby discovered these conversations & without coming to me first thought I slept with this guy & took legal action - without going into detail. I have spoken to hubby about this, he's not angry with me but he cannot seem to understand where I'm coming from. I tried to explain I didn't mean anything by the conversations, I was wanting emotional support. I have no hard feelings toward this guy & would like to touch base & see how he is going. I feel I haven't had a chance to explain myself. What do you guys think?

2 replies

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In response to: Am I right or wrong?

SaharaSenior Contributor25 July 2017, 7:27 pm AEST

Re: Am I right or wrong?

@B45,

I don't think you have done anything wrong. I wonder why your husband assumed you had slept with this man? Was there something flirtatious in your conversations that made your husband jump to that conclusion?

I guess that if I made a new friend while on holidays, then I would mention that to my husband so as everything was out in the open, especially since you decided to keep in contact with your new buddy. But then again, why is you husband reading your private messages? It shows he doesn't trust you.

If your husband is suspicious of you and your intentions, then he should just ask you about it- not go reading your private mail. That was wrong of him, in my opinion.

Sounds like there might be a lack of communication on both sides of your marriage.

It's good that you were able to explain to your husband why you were talking to your new friend- you were seeking emotional support. It's just a pity that your husband does not seem to get it. He must assume that he is a supportive husband to you? I don't know.

You really will hve to talk more about it and try to get to the bottom of it.

In response to: Re: Am I right or wrong?

Unknown userMember28 July 2017, 6:30 pm AEST

Re: Am I right or wrong?

Hi @B45 🙂

It is completely understandable that you want emotional support - we all need it! If @Sahara is correct, and that there is a lack of communication in your marriage, perhaps you may be interested in seeking assistance from Relationships Australia or Lifeworks. I have listed their numbers below:

Relationship Australia: Relationships Australia is a leading provider of relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.

1300 364 277

LifeWorks: Relationship, Individual and Family Counselling, Dispute Resolution Services, Relationship & Parenting Education, Intercountry Adoption Support and more.

1300 543 396

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

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