judeCasual Contributor
Carer for son with Bi-Polar and Severe Traumatic Brain Injury
Hi
I was given this site - late last night - in distress - whilst I was looking for a 24 hour phone line I could find to talk to someone as a carer not a lifeline - beyond blue - suicide line - I'm not suicidal - I'm desperate to connect with others who do a caring role for a loved one. The walls of my dam burst last night and the floods of tears and hoplenesses poured forth without control last night - after finally getting my 21 year old asleep - after giving him all his meds and more if things aren't settling - I lay beside him cradling him like I did when he was a baby - knowing this is not normal - but what he needed to just get him to sleep - so his relentless, panic and anxiety leaves for the 14 hours he then sleeps. Caring for my son through his major depression onset at age of 15 - I always had hope things would get better - I provided as much as I could that was on offer to help him through - it never improved - going through a messy divorce - of control for another three years - found us having to admit my son into a private mental health clinic under his private psychiatrist. Who doubled his medication that changed him into a euphoric state within two days - then they discharged him without follow up or discharged summary back into my care. But guess what he was over the age of 18 by then - and I had no privy to his treatement. Long story short 4 months later he suffered seizures in our home that led to a heavy fall down our sloped shared driveway - I found him close to death - and administered first aid -whilst waiting on paramedics - who when arrived - called for back up - and called the hospital to prep them what was coming in. I backed up the driveway when help came with his blood all over me - witnessing them bagging him and taking him away. He was flown two and half hours south of where we lived for life saving surgery. Induced into a coma with not much hope - he recovered - three months down south - away from my business, my daughter, my friends - we finally came home. He can walk and talk he is lucky - but he has a severe frontal lobe brain injury and since - been disagnosed with Bi-Polar 1.disorder. Three months ago as we were battling with human service for a carers pension, disability pension for him - me trying to keep my business afloat to provide income - he suffered a psychosis- was locked up into a High Dependency Unit Psych Ward - the clever Dr's wanted to rule out a brain bleed from his brain injury before making any further diagnosis - he suffered - claustrophobia when they tried to do MRI - because claustrophobia is not a proved medical condition - he was put under a mental health act order and treatment order - to provide a general aneasthetic to him to give MRI - we had to wait a week for the tribunal meeting. I said to Dr well if he has a brain bleed he'll bleed out before then! NEXT! he was transferred to a locked psych ward - I stayed with him - a long way away from home - so I could be his voice and brave for him whilst he was on unstable ground. He was discharged back into my care from a locked psych ward late on a Friday afternoon back North against my knoweledge and wishes - even though he was still not stable - but they needed beds - and I was such a good carer they trusted discharging him back into my care - with 8 more new medications - at a huge cost to my own mental health. Since 2nd June I've been caring for him with intensity - I now need to go through process of closing my business, finding a home for me and my children. Have been finally approved for financial hardship under pressing circumstances and will get a little super released - have all the systems in place - but it is all taking so long to prooooooove! and still no respite = no availability - I've locked myself away in a room today - ignoring my sons needs - which is cruel but only way I can get a little respite. x
