Hi @Former-Member,
You have tagged me just as I'm about to jump off the forum for the day. I would LOVE for you to come and join the forest. I just quickly read how hopeless you are feeling because you get turned away from services with "I'm sorry, we can't help you." I am in the same predicament and I can very much relate to the hopelessness. I find the guys at SANE a bazillion times better to talk to than any other helpline I've ever tried and they are very much helping me to keep on keeping on at the moment.
I don't know what the answer is @Former-Member but I do know that muddled brains are fixable...it's just that trying to find the right person to help with that is a total nightmare. Thus, for now, I'm looking at some DIY brain fixing options - like yoga. It isn't a magic fix, but it does help me to feel calm and that has to be a good thing. I hope to see you being a part of the Forest of Forum Land 