Anyone feel like chatting?

hi @MDT good you had a sleep in!

my week ahead is super busy with appointments and work.

Yes alas @outlander - the world is like that

And that is a tremendous load of homework - I don't think I could do that - esp in retrospect - I would forget a lot of it in the amount

Do you think this is helping and - great that Arie could help you out - the moderators here are great

The amount of anxiety you have is horrendous - I have read without answering some of your posts - I am concerned that with so much happening inside you that it is not a good thing for you to care for your sisters during the holidays where you will have them 24/7 for 24 hours for 7 days literally

It's a really bad idea - if your mother cares about any of you - including your sisters - she would not do this - they are her kids after all - she can take them with her and give you the break you need

I say too much - or feel that I do - at times - but I think she cares too much about her own time and too little for your concerns

I really care

Dec

I've woken up feeling pretty damn depressed this morning so I'm gonna go out for a walk

Too much on my mind so I have to clear it out

So much to think about and worry about 😕 it's just getting to me heaps lately..

@Owlunar

the homework is ok if I fill it out as it happens and not wait till the end of the day. So I have a few tables wit me in the car and if I run out ill start putting them into my phone then transfer to the paper tables when I get back home.

I dotn think It is helping but I know theres a point to it all. She said its the 'key' so im gathering if I continue to do the homework thentheres somesort of clue in there.
Yes the mods are very great here and I dont know what state I wouldve been in today, proably incapacitated and unable to watch the kids today. my grief sometimes overpowers everything and im still learning that and how quickly im triggered. it only took one word yesterday and i was off and couldnt handle it

As of right now I have 66 tables filled out, and the days not over and tomorrow hasnt started. I cant believe how many things ive had to do, its ridiculous, I dont know how I can have this much anxiety!

I am worried about the week upcoming too, I cant spoil their holiday after everything has been paid for my own selfish sake. But I am worried. I dont know how I am going to go, I struggle having them every day over the weekend and every day after school/before school. I dont know how im going to go with literally 24/7 for a week. It really ahs me concerned. What id I cant handle it, what if I end up in hospital. Whos going to look after them then. And how am I going to take care of my second job too.

My mother said to me yesterday that after shes back from the holiday, she will pay for ONE night in hotel. Wow one night and checkin isnt until 2 and check out is at 10, thats like a few hours rest before I have to come abck and look after them all over again.

You never say to much, I know you care, I can feel it through your responses

parent still do that now @Former-Member and i often think they are starting to encourage them and their drinking habits. its not right and i dont think parents should eb supporting underage drinking at all.

im glad your daughters not into it, im one of those weirder ones who dont care about having a drink either. im very happy to sit with with a cup of hot chocolate or tea or on hot days a nice cold class of ice water or rarely a soft drink.

66 tables with more to go @outlander - well - here's the interesting part - your psychologist has to read them all and collate them - what fun for her - hey!!

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@outlander wrote:

I am worried about the week upcoming too, I cant spoil their holiday after everything has been paid for my own selfish sake. But I am worried. I dont know how I am going to go, I struggle having them every day over the weekend and every day after school/before school. I dont know how im going to go with literally 24/7 for a week. It really ahs me concerned. What id I cant handle it, what if I end up in hospital. Whos going to look after them then. And how am I going to take care of my second job too.

My mother said to me yesterday that after shes back from the holiday, she will pay for ONE night in hotel. Wow one night and checkin isnt until 2 and check out is at 10, thats like a few hours rest before I have to come abck and look after them all over again

Believe me Outlander- you can't spoil your mother's holiday - she is setting that up for herself by expecting you to care for HER children - and you are far from well - look how one word can set you off - it might go very badly and you don't want to lose control over your life because someone else expects more of you than is reasonable.

And nothing has been spent for your selfish self - you are not selfish - anything but - let me tell you that it's unreasonable for someone to expect a 20 yo to care for 2 children for one whole week - and it's not a fair trade for you to have a few hours in a hotel - a few days would be a different story - you need a week's holiday if anyone does

I know you are a kind and generous person who puts everyone else ahead of yourself - and really - all I can do to help is to keep pointing out how unreasonable it is that your mother who owes you so much more should expect so much form you

And just keep plugging away and telling you

Dec

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