Anyone feel like chatting?

@outlander Refusing to be hospitalised just makes them want to hospitalise you even more, and force you to stay under the mental health act. So, I always wonder what's the point.. Although there was a time where I ran past and dodged security and ended up on the train tracks with police searching for me... But thats a different story.

I do have a regular counsellor with headspace and kidshelpline (I hate the name of kidshelpline, as I am not a kid). I have also contacted beyond blue here and there but they can't really do much. Online doesn't really help me, just due to the reasons that excersizing my thumbs into words doesn't necessarily provide any release and it wasn't be able to provide or sustain happiness. Or improve anything in all retrospects of things.


The counsellor helping me is actually a counsellor who works with kidshelpline. So thankfully I won't need to have constant panic attacks of having to meet in real life. Even though they are based in Queensland. So we will be trying to communicate over the phone, as a stepping stone as first to trying to be able to verbally communicate. I don't know how that will go down. I feel sick thinking about it but it is what I need to do.

Yeah definitely. I am also really needing help with the crisis side of things- and also my psychosis... which relates again to having a crisis... or episodes.

hey all
ditched group therapy
3 old people.... run by a church... "grow" is a joke
they make you recite all this dumb stuff from a book... then they throw prayer in there as well.. religion screwed me enough..
now i have no motivation in my life..
Why do i even bother hey?

@outlander -love the new drawing and particularly the colours you've chosen there 💗

@Former-Member - I wanted to reply to your post when things were a little quieter in our house. It's ok not to reply if you're not up to it or wanting to.

Reaching out for help and support can be so hard and it sounds like you so have many barriers to overcome. It must be really tough.

Hospital can be helpful, even if it is temporary, especially when it seems like the only other option is a very permanent one. It's really good that you can see this and that you know it is there if you need.

It would be really hard to lose hope that support is out there for you, when it seems it comes and then goes suddenly.

Back in May I lost all hope that anything or anyone could help. I resisted CATT intervention in a pretty big way, adamant that hospital was not an option. I crumbled and crashed badly before accepting an admission for a stay in a mh facility (not hospital). I didn't think it would really help and didn't expect too much out of it, but it was actually really helpful in the end. I still struggle lots sometimes, though not exactly with the same kind of intensity as before. It really showed me that good things can definitely happen when they're least expected, and reminded me that while I'm alive and keeping on keeping on, I don't really know what's around the corner. I'm going to try to hold on to that if nothing else, if/when I hit a bit struggle patch again. I think do hold on to it often, even now.

You seem to know yourself and understand what it is you need and what would help you, well. I think this is a really important thing and will help you lots. It can be so tough to listen to ourselves when we're overwhelmed, but you have gotten yourself this far and that's pretty important to acknowledge sometimes (in my opinion anyway). Just keep chipping away dazedanais, like it seems like you are doing.

I'm so glad you find the forum helpful. Having this space and connecting with the fabulous people here, has been a huge part of why I am still standing after this very challenging year. Keep talking here when it helps - there will always be someone listening (reading) and caring.

i tried to sign up for one but then they told me they didnt have enough numbers..
checked the site and they started a group already..
it just triggered a tonne of things for me.. religion hurt me so much. Its why i struggle so much now too..

Is anyone still out there im doing terrible and don't have the courage to call life line ;;( I feel selfish putting it here but I'm suffocating in my mind and feel like I'm gasping for air and so incredibly alone

Hi @Ney, the forum has quietened down a little bit now after being busy earlier. I'm sorry that you're feeling alone right now. But this is the place to come when you're feeling that way.

What makes you feel like you can't call Lifeline? They tend to be pretty good in these situations. It can really help to get all those thoughts out of your head and into the world.

I'm scared. I'm scared they will tell me to have a shower or something equally I can't do right now . Scared I'll hear tomorrow is another day scared I'll be assessed for risk when I'm not a risk tonight, I'm a risk when I'm kid free Friday. I'm scared that my reasons for feeling this way iis trivial , I'm scared underneath it all I'm actually a Bad person and maybe where I am now is a result of me being me , I'm scared it's all too late ;(