@outlander,So sorry babygirl but you know you did everything you could've done and unfortunately like us ,her weakness or threat in her/his life was colic.If you were there whilst the needle was given you were brave, I could never do it,I was at work years ago when I got the vet to euthanize the horse with snake bite,but you have that awful feeling come over you that "they are gone and awful grief.I don't know what's worse but when I got home and saw the heap of dirt in the paddock. Whatever animal I have had to make that decision whether it was the horse,cow or cat it doesn't get easier.
Yes,once the burial is done get out, whether it's to a shopping mall for a hot drink,but try to avoid the loneliness of your bedroom for a few hours . Thinking of you and you do remind me of myself,you love your animals to the end of the earth and back.