Anyone feel like chatting?

Hi @Former-Member

I'm so sorry you are struggling at the moment. It is such a strength that you are reaching out here on the forums for support, and that there are so many people here who cherish you!

Please note that I have sent you an email to check-in.

Kindest,

Amour_Et_Psyché

I'm feeling teary with you @Former-Member. That place that you're in at the moment, is horrible. So painful, so lonely and so hard.

It's ok to talk about yourself, as much as you want to. It is so special to have a place where it is ok to talk about yourself and have others hear you, even if they don't know what to say back. It's also so ok to sit in a bubble. There is absolutely no need to leave it until it's right for you to and you want to. I (and others) will sit next to you and your bubble, believing you are worth being cared about, heard, loved and happy, until you can believe it yourself.

I wish I could say that it will get better. I don't know that though. I know things always change and that there have been times when I couldn't imagine anything ever getting better and they have. And then they got worse again. And then better.

@CheerBear

💜💕

It doesn't feel okay or right though at times, does it? I wish there was a break button where you could just fully diappear from life and the world for a while.

Feeling like this is brutal - for anyone who has to experience it.. for you, for me, for everyone. I did have a point early this year/ late last year.. where I thought things were starting to go okay. I had my best friend, a boyfriend and I didn't feel so alone. But I spent all my time drinking away my feeling, there was a period where I was hardly ever sober.. I would go to that friend's house and completely black out. I wasn't fun to be around and we drifted and hardly speak nowadays.. That boyfriend used me, in ways that were wrong.. and crossed boundaries when told no. Then after that day when he saw me, the most vulnerable I have ever been to a person.. He completely fled and disappeared. He didn't answer calls, texts.. I blamed myself for a long time and I still question why he deserted me.. It seems to be an ongoing phenomenon in my life. He abused me and ran.. I really shouldn't be blaming myself but I can't help it. Then things went tumbling down.. and I ended up never returning to education when everyone expected me to.. and everything began adding up and I tried to take my life. Then.. all my supports abandoned me slightly after.

It's crazy how things can change.

Thankyou @Former-Member

Thank you @BlueBay I wish easy distraction techniques could 'distract' me - however they just never seem to. No matter what I do or where I go.. I am always left with my mind.

These forums are good at distracting at times though. kinda. xxxxx