Hi @MDT,
I'm curious to hear why you are concerned about getting a label of BPD. That's all it is you know - a label. You will get that label simply by having an "expert" tick 5 of the 9 diagnostic criteria (i.e. boxes) that together make up BPD. That's it. Nothing about you will change.
I am extremely glad I was diagnosed very quickly with BPD after I started having issues in my late teens. It seems to me that a lot of people wander around with a whole shopping list of diagnoses before they finally get diagnosed with BPD. I believe in the value of the principle of Ockham's raz*r. That is, the simplest explanation is usually the best one.
BPD is treatable. I know that if I had been able to do DBT when I was first diagnosed, I would most likely be in a very different space now. As someone else mentioned, medication isn't hugely effective for BPD. I have been medication-free for most of my 20 year psychiatric history. When I have been on medication, I've only ever been on one medication at a time (either an anti-depressant or a mood stabilizer). The practice guidelines around BPD say that while it is fine to use medication to treat common co-morbid issues such as depression, it shouldn't be used as a first-line approach to treating BPD itself.
I think you also asked about the abandonment stuff didn't you @MDT? For me, this was very much what got me labelled with BPD. Someone that I was super close to pushed me away and the more he pushed me away, the more I clung...until he took out a restraining order. This has been a repeated pattern throughout my life - the last time someone threatened legal action if I didn't stay away from them was in last December. So yeah, I super struggle with people walking into my world and then walking out again.
I am now coping with this in the same way as @Former-Member described - I won't ever let anyone in again. That's why I don't identify anyone here in Forum Land as a "friend." I know from a bazillion past experiences that "friends" always end up leaving.
If you start reading up on BPD, you will find that it is diagnosed far more often in women than men.
Anyway, I don't know if any of that is helpful. Feel free to keep asking questions @MDT. 
