Struggling

Hi embers,

Welcome to the forums, I am glad you have reached out here for support. Here you will find others too who also struggle with SI thoughts, and I am always inspired by the honesty and wisdom and glimmers of hope that I see on these forums.

I'm sorry to hear tonight is such a struggle, what things usually help when you feel anxious and unsettled? I am here tonight if you want to talk on the forum or feel free to email if you prefer to talk privately- Snowflake

Thanks Snowflake. It's nice to know someone is awake and has read my post.
Normally when I feel like this hanging out with my dogs and watching some tv, reading or listening to podcasts helps but tonight I can't seem to take the edge off. I've just taken some extra meds so hopefully they'll kick in and I'll get some respite in the form of sleep soon.

thanks for the tag @utopia

HI @embers i too have dealt with both SI and SH and they are both horrible things to deal with!.

there are mnay reasons why people want to SH, is it becasue you feel numb and want to feel something? or maybe is it your too anxious and you need something else entirely to focus on? these are my main two reasons- if you dont mind whats the idea around your self harm?

sometimes its hard to think of coping strategies that will help as some work more for the numb feeling while others work better for anxiety. im happy to help whereever i can and can give you some more coping strategies

DEEP BREATHING AND MEDITATION
use the 3-3-3 method. so you breathe in for 3
seconds hold for 3 seconds and breathe our for 3 seconds. continuedoing that for a few time until you feel yourself relax and calm down

there are heaps of you tube videos and phone apps that can help you throught this, i found 1 GIANT MIND particuarly helpful for MEDITATION do you could try that

this one is pretty much MEDITATION/DEEP BREATHING put together- which is breathe in notice how it fills your belly, hold for 3 breathe out and release that tension that you feel and keep continuing on until you feel calmer

MINDFULLNESS
there are so many ways to do mindfulness such as these examples
A) listen to your favourite song and concentrate
on one specific thing such as the words and what they mean, or the
beat- what instruments can you hear in the song?

B) take a look at your surroundings, what
can you hear, what can you see, what can you smell, what can you
taste.

C) pick up an object like a pencil. really notice
how the texture feels, is it cold , warm, does it have a smell?

D)Go for a walk and take in the sights of nature,
feel the breeze on you, notice how it feels

DISTRACTIONS
this can pretty much be anything you enjoy doing that takes your mind off things such as:
count backwards from 100

play a musical instrument
scribble on a piece of paper
have a nice bubble bath or shower
print and colour a mandela
makea dream catcher
make a scrapbook
go on a cleaning ramage
dance around to your favoutite music
go for a drive

do some origami
cook your favourite recipes

pop bubble wrap
hold a cuddly toy
figdet with a sensory toy
cry- its ok to cry
plant a tree
watch funny youtube videos
write a list of the good things in your life
look at happy photos
squeeze a stress ball
play with a pet
write a nice letter to yourself
do a random act of kindness
count the things around yourself
create or build something
yoga
teach your pet a new trick
learn a new language
pray
take up another hobby
draw on yourself with a marker
study the sky
knit or sew something

go shopping even just window shopiing
play your playstation/xbox
use a boxing bag and get some frustrations out
make your own bracelets or necklaces from strings and beads

make your own garden or if you have a garden go and tend to it
go
birdwatching
imagine your happy place and go through your 5 senses within that happy place
do some study
take some pictures of your pets and dress them up by drawing accessories
or
using an app on your phone
play with playdough or plastacine
do some puzzles suh as cross words or findaword or suduko
if its night time, go out and watch the stars and the passing satelites
read your favourite book
go to a museum or art gallery

get messy with some paints- do some fingerpainting or use unusal objects
such as sponges or leaves or blades of grass to create pictures
bake a cake
go to the beach and watch the waves or go for a walk and feel the sand between your toes
plan a holiday that youd lvoe to go to with unlimited money
hold an icecube
slap an elastic band on your wrist
do some starjumps

listen to music
play a sport
go fishing
go for a run
draw or do some art

THE COPING TOOLBOX
this is a collectionf of your favourite and healthy things that you can use when your feeling axious, panicky or distressed
you can add whatever your like
some things may include:
abelevoved tuffed teddy
crosswords puzzles
a meditation dvd
a rubber band
scented candles
a bottle of bubbles
a soft blanket
a card from a supportive personal
healing stones or krystals
pictre of loved ones
crafts or beads
mp3 player with your fave music or relaxing music
your journal or notebook
gum or lollies or fave chocolates
positive affirmations

THOUGHT CHALLANGING
1. Pick the thought
2. Reality Test it
so ask questions such as 'my evidence FOR and AGAINST this thought' 'am i jumping to negative conclusions?' 'are my thoughts true in all cases all the time?'

3. Looks for alternative explanations
'are ther any other ways i could look at this situation?" 'what are the positives of this thought?'

4. Putting it into Perspective
'whats the best thing that can happen?'whats good about this situation?' will this mattter in a few years?'
5. Use Goal Directed Thinking
'is this thought helping me achieve my goals?' what can i do that will help solve this problem?' 'is there somethign i can learn from this situation to help me?'

Thanks @utopia and @outlander 🙂
Utopia, I did mangage a few hours sleep when I finally collapsed into sleep aroud 4am. Today has felt pretty crappy. Exhasution and anxiety are not a fun mix.
Outlander, I find I have different triggers that lead me to wanting to self harm. Extreme anxiety, dissociation or a desire to punish myself usually connected to past traumas. Thanks for your extensive list of coping strategies. For me I usually find alternating between mindfulness and distraction to be helpful. And also anything self soothing - I have a weighted blanket which can be quite helpful as can holding my stuffed dog or hanging out with my real dogs if they'll co-operate.

I think this week has been particularly hard as my Therapist is away. I've been having twice weekly therapy plus phone contact between sessions and to go to nothing has been tough. As much as I hate how hard therapy can b at times, it's even harer when that support's not there.

Today the SH thoughts have been more in the background which is a nice reprieve. Hopefully tonight is more straightforeward and I get some decent sleep!