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Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

My mum has schizoeffective and has been up and down for the last 2 years. Prior to that she had a job and was well for about 10 years. Im 26, work full time and spend my mornings before work, my lunch break and then after work with mum just to keep her well and talk her out of feeling paranoid or depressed. We've been playing around with her meds with the psychiatrist but just can't seem to get them right. She has good days and bad. She loves being surrounded by people and gets very lonely, so basically I am trying to find her some hobbies / something to do although she's very picky with what I offer. I've tried ermha and each but to no avail. I find them confusing or they have too long waiting lists etc. I'm at my whitts end ! I can't do much more for her while I work full time. Hoping someone has some suggestions on support groups or ideas for things she can do or things that have worked for others! Thank you 🙂

23 replies

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In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

I think its got to the stage now where I do need my own support. I've been trying to manage it for the last two years with the support of my family but it is getting difficult now. It's starting to consume me and causing me to withdraw from my own life. Will look into it asap thanks @Former-Member

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

She saw her psychiatrist last week who decreased one of her meds. I think this has caused the latest episode. With consultation with her we have put it back to how it was. She's definitely improved from the weekend but is still saying these things about wanting a new life/new boyfriend. It's very hurtful and also I feel really bad for my dad who I think could also do with some extra support.

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

@Revs

Feel for your dad, when hyped I found out that Mr Darcy my husband went on dating sites and was getting sent pictures of women with large breasts. As you would know med adjustments can take time. Hope the meds can hold things sufficiently in check so that mum does not act on these words and that relationships and reputation will be preserved.

As well as accessing the carer supports, a lot of us carers see a psychologist to help us with coping methods to help the ones we love - these can be Medicare rebateable through a GP mental health plan.

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Thanks for your advice @Former-Member. I will see my doctor next week and try and find someone to see myself. Mum booked a flight and got on a plane to QLD yesterday. She is in good hands with a friend who is keeping me updated and keeping her safe. She didn't even tell me or say goodbye which is upsetting as we are very close. It is nice to have a bit of a break though.

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Hey @Revs

It can be so upsetting when things like this happen, I think that we tend to be a bit more forgiving with things done in depression rather than in mania. Mr Darcy's indiscretion in relation to the emails was over all quite harmless (I consoled myself by thinking it was some bald scammer on the other end and was pleased Mr D did not part with any $). He did run away a few times as it turned out it was with intent and he did eventually attempt. It was a very difficult time, he was not properly diagnosed and was having adverse reactions to the meds he was on.

I do hope your mum pulls through soon and that she will return to stability and back to your dad.

I found the Wellways snapshot class for carers really helpful. Mr Darcy's pdoc gave me carer leave to go to it. The psychologist I am seeing is helping with concentration issues I was having at work (and still do occasionally) and a couple of other things I needed help with.

Very important to look after yourself so that you have the strength to be able to cope with mum.

There is a carer tips thread in the looking after yourself category that might help too.

Darcy

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Quick check in @Revs how are you going?

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

How are things going @Revs

In response to: Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

I also have a mother with schizophrenia, and I understand how you feel. They become a totally different person, you go from being very close, to needing to be away from them - but then they go away, without any warning and it breaks you.

Sorry, I don't have any practical advice, but just wanted to say, I totally get it.

In response to: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Sorry for my lack of posting @Former-Member it's been a hectic month as I have just got a new job, starting in a few weeks. Mum is still away, planning to come back mid September. She has been moving around QLD and NSW staying with family and friends. We talk daily, most days she seems well. It's been so nice to have some time out whilst knowing she is safe. I just hope that when she returns she has come up with some new ideas for things to do and doesn't return to square one. I hope that she returns content with her life as when she left she 'didn't want this life' anymore. Thanks @SalSydney it's nice to hear others experience similar situations. I've always felt like I am the mum and she is the child in the relationship. I've been talking to friends and family about my feelings but yet to organize a support person for myself as been very busy. Still definitely wanting to do that though. Thanks again for all the support it's nice to know that people care x

In response to: Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Re: Mum with schizoeffective is lonely

Hi @Revs,

I don't want to presume but the dedicated love you show for your mum and the other family connections you mentioned suggest you come from a loving family and I imagine you are the loving daughter you are because your mum raised you that way.

A loving family is one of the best forms of support you can have. Don't take everything on your own shoulders.

All the best.

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