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sydfxCasual Contributor
In response to: Relationships.....
SaharaSenior Contributor
Hi @sydfx,
and welcome to the forums. I too, am very good at getting rid of people who have offended me! But I wonder how productive this is in the long term..... and whether it has really improved my life or not?
I think you have to look at each person as an individual and look at your relationship with them. What went wrong? What might you have done differently? Please don't use this as an opportunity to beat yourself up for what you might have done differently!
If these people are contacting you now, maybe you could open up a conversation with some of them and get their thoughts on what went wrong? If you do miss them and their company, you could always agree to meet them in neutral place, like a coffee shop for a catch up, and see how it goes.
If you don't miss them at all and truly feel you are better off without them, then you don't have to answer their messages.
Some people might only want to catch up with you out of curiosity, but there is no way of knowing what their real motivations are. I find it's a waste of time to try and guess what other people are thinking and feeling. You can't know this. If you want to know what they are thinking, then you should ask them.
But then again, maybe you don't really want to know!
Please write again and let us know how you are doing. 
In response to: Relationships.....
Unknown userMember
Hi there @sydfx
Sometimes it is necessary to surround yourself with more helpful things that are supportive of you and if that means ending communication with those who are causing you pain or trouble, then that is understandably what needs to be done.
I can see how they are wanting to reconnect with you, but if it feels as though that is out of self interest and not concern, than be firm with your boundaries and only tell them what you feel comfortable with them knowing. That sounds tricky though and perhaps one day you will meet people who you feel you can trust more but for now, that is not the case and you just need to focus on looking after yourself. It would be helpful if you could have that conversation with those people about how they have made you feel, so you are not left assuming what they are wanting from you, it might help them to know how they are affecting you too?
Lunar
In response to: Re: Relationships.....
MazaritaSenior Contributor
Hi @sydfx,
I too have walked away from many people during my life. At 55 it has left me disconnected from extended family and people I may have been able to have valuable long term relationships with. I have no children, so I do feel the loss of other connections in my life, though I chose it to be this way. I feel myself to be in more of a vulnerable place in the world than if I'd been able to better weave more of these people into my life. At the same time, I'm not sure if I would really do things differently if I had to chance to live it over again. It's a hard thing to balance out.
It probably really depends on why you have broken with these people. Perhaps more specific detail about what you think their motivations might be in contacting you.
Best to you with this choice.
In response to: Relationships.....
utopiaSenior Contributor
In response to: Relationships.....
sydfxCasual Contributor
In response to: Relationships.....
NeySenior Contributor
In response to: Relationships.....
patrickTSenior Contributor
Hi @sydfx,
Is there anything in particular that made you give them the flick. You don't have to share of course but if whatever they did or....whatever happened was significant enough for you to kick them out of your life then I would evaluate that in relation to how you're feeling. There must have been a reason (I'm assuming) and I guess you have to work out if that is still relevant to you.
Also, if you're using the fear of being unmarried or without children to drive you to reconsider, that's not always the best reason. Do what's best for you and your happiness, not what's best for external factors like marriage and children.
In response to: Re: Relationships.....
Shaz51Senior Contributor
Hello @sydfx, how are you today my friend
have been thinking of you today xx
Hello @patrickT, @Ney, @utopia, @Mazarita
In response to: Relationships.....
sydfxCasual Contributor
In response to: Re: Relationships.....
Shaz51Senior Contributor
hello @sydfx, i have inherited budgies , and i had a peachface parrot too , sooo nice , it waas funny with the parrot because she would lay eggs but then she would push them out of the cage
i don`t know how old you are ?? but i never got married until i was 43 and I have never had a child of my own , I did private childcare for 25years before getting married and I have 4 step children who are all adults now
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Help us push aside the stigma and discrimination surrounding complex mental health and change the way people talk about, and care for, mental illness.
SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.
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