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-Enigma-

Unknown userMember07 July 2017, 4:01 am AEST

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

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In response to: -Enigma-

Unknown userMember07 July 2017, 3:30 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

I don't have a counsellor at the moment @Faith-and-Hope, but was planning on seeing a grief counsellor. But I feel what I am going through presently has progressed beyond that now. It's something I can't verbalise right now. I feel so confused. I will see my GP soon re a referral, if I can get there. I am feeling apprehensive of getting up and walking through the door. The thought terrifies me which is ridiculous and I have no strength. Thanks for being there xx

In response to: -Enigma-

Faith-and-HopeSenior Contributor07 July 2017, 3:34 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

Call a locum to the house if you need to @OverThe Edge ......

💜💐

In response to: Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

Unknown userMember07 July 2017, 5:06 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

@Faith-and-Hope - I am calling on you. I just received a phone call and we have just lost our dream house. They didn't say this ofcourse but we know we were gazumpted. My daughter is missing - @Faith-and-Hope, I can't see hope. I am losing my faith, please help me regain in or there is nothing left for me. Please tell me why all these really bad things are destroying me and my husband. Where is God? Did I do something wrong?. I must have. Help me I am sinking....

In response to: Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

oceangirlSenior Contributor07 July 2017, 5:13 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

I am here @Former-Member. I wanted to thank you for your support. I know you feel not so good now- but just keep putting one foot in front of the other. Chin up sweetheart. Love you always OG

In response to: Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

oceangirlSenior Contributor07 July 2017, 5:19 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

I think you should just try relax and do some self care over the weekend, and spend quality time with your husband. I am just going down to the shops but I will be back on later to check on you, my beautiful friend @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

Unknown userMember07 July 2017, 5:21 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

Oh my sweet @oceangirl - my life is over, all my dreams down the gugler. One lesson I have learnt is "to never have dreams". They are fictictious and cause nothing but pain. No more. I was foolish to think I deserved any of them. I obviously did something very wrong to deserve all this abuse, injustice, loss and grief. I don't deserve to be happy and that's just the way it is. My fault. As I said in a earlier post everything I have ever done, the love and compassion I gave meant nothing. Absolutely nothing.

My depression is all consuming my friend - I have just lost everything and am trying to stay sane in a very dark place. I have been living in a fairyland. I just wish it would all end my friend, I have had enough of this life. I won't do anything but I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. My distress is overwhelming.

In response to: -Enigma-

NikNikSenior Contributor07 July 2017, 5:34 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

Hi @Former-Member

It's not ridiculous at all. The community is here for you tonight to support you in any way that you would find helpful - even if it's help to walk through the door.
I have dropped you an email because we care concerned. I hope to hear from you soon.

Nik

PS: this seems to be a very supportive discussion between you all. Let me know if you would like me to move your posts and responses over the past 24 hours to a new discussion thread and out of the Worry Room, so you can keep it going.

In response to: -Enigma-

utopiaSenior Contributor07 July 2017, 6:03 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

@Former-Member.
I understand that dark place called depression. I'm sorry you find yourself stuck in its web.
Not sure if it will help - but here goes.
These are negative self talk.
They are not real. Not true.
Good things are there - but they are sometimes hard to see.
This mood is temporary. It will not last.
But it sounds like you are in a very dark place at the moment. It's a truly awful place to be. I was there recently.
Please reach out for some professional support. Your gp, a counselor/psychologist or a psychiatrist. You can start feeling better, once you get some support.
Am thinking of you and sending you love.♥♥

In response to: -Enigma-

Zoe7Senior Contributor07 July 2017, 6:24 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

@Former-Member If it wasn't for the love and compassion you showed me all those months ago (and in many, many times since) - where would I be - definitely not here talking to you now. You made such a difference in my life - and continue to make that difference every single day. What you gave me is more than love and compassion - you gave me life and you gave me hope.

There have been so many times that I have been right on the edge, not caring which way I fall, and as if it was meant to be - there you are - encouraging me, guiding me and showing that abundance of love that you have within yourself.

At the moment you are in that place where you cannot see what is around you or what is within you because it is so dark - the light will only be allowed in when the pain that is consuming you eases. This will not be easy as once this darkness reaches so deep into your soul that you cannot see a way out you do begin to lose hope. That is why we are here @Former-Member to hold you in our arms and to keep the hope alive until it finds you again. Until then lean on us, connect with us, talk to us and know that you are loved and adored by us.

Tonight I give you all the strength I have left and all the love that my heart can hold - to sit beside you and let you know how very much you are cared for and how blessed we are to have you as part of this community.

All my love ...always @Former-Member

Zoe

In response to: -Enigma-

oceangirlSenior Contributor07 July 2017, 6:32 pm AEST

Re: Worry Room - Get it out, and walk away

Hi again @Former-Member

I will always be here for you. You will get that dream home that you always wanted. I want you to promise that you will look after you. You can always get extra support you need in a private hospital, if that is what you need. Plus you have your loving & supportive husband, who I know would be worried about you.You have taught me so much since I have know you and that is quite a while now. I really appreciate our friendship and I wish I knew IRL. What matters most now is you and we as a community we do care about you and your health. Would you make an appointment to see someone tomorrow or early next week? What are you having for dinner @Former-Member ? PS You always stick to me like super glue!!

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