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Something’s not right

-Enigma-

-Enigma-

I have given up now - no one can say it was not without a fight. But then no one on heaven and earth would give a damn anyway. I gave from the heart and it was a joy to help others. I felt such peace with that. I never did it for anything in return ever, I did it because I truly cared and felt so much genuine compassion towards others. I was promised dreams and peace would come true even though I never asked. It felt so good to know I made someone's lives a bit better.

Why is it that people like me are then faced with so much heartache, injustice, trauma and adversity that seeks to do everything in its power to destroy that good, to take the little good and peace I had, to utterly destroy me. Why?

I had always been there when possible others times of need - now that I truly need someone I have been all but abandoned by those I knew and those in the spirit. I realise now everything was a lie and feel utterless helpless and lost. I have lost everything and don't see the point in being here. I hope I don't wake up to another day of despair.

1732 replies

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In response to: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

I think you are extraordinary @Adge, working in such a high stress job together with struggling with chronic illness. That's not for the faint of heart. That takes endurance and resilience which I highly admire. I would collapse on the lounge at the end of that type of day as well.

I would never say what I do not mean - as difficult as your journey is, you do make a difference @Adge, not only here but also for those you work with too, in a much better way than you realise; and a life that makes a positive difference to others lives is a life well lived.

So good to see another post from you ☺️

Hi @MDT - good to see you here too.

Hi @oceangirl - I just saw your last post from last night, I feel asleep (finally) by then. I hope you were not awake through worry. Hope you are okay - it's hard not to worry at times when someone we love becomes very ill.

Sending a warm hello to @outlander@Appleblossom thinking of you all ❤️

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Hi again @Former-Member

I was not sure if you were online or not when I send my message. I'm struggling atm. I don't have much support. Thinking of you and wishing you were here.

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

I would be there for you if I could in a flash @oceangirl - but I am here for you and you have my support here always. Do you see your brother much at all? Is he supportive? It was good news that your dad put on some weight - signs he is picking up. When does the family find out what stage your dad's dementia is at?

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

I know you would be here if you could @Former-Member. I think in a few weeks we will have more information. He seems to be picking up, the low sodium has quite an effect on him. I will be seeing all of my three brothers this weekend.

I just don't know what to do atm @Former-Member. I feel really stuck and unsure of things. I really can't find the words to express what is happening.

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

That's great that you are seeing your three brothers this weekend @oceangirl - you can help each other and your dad. I didn't know you had three brothers - quite a large family.

It is really hard to express ourselves when feeling overwhelmed with emotions and worry etc; or feel trapped when we feel we can't cope with something. I have been like that at times and it is hard to talk about the issues. I understand and am here for you when you feel ready or the need to, or when you need a shoulder to lean on. Picture me there as I will be in spirit.

Does anything help relax you at times like this - I try and distract my mind, that's my way, and if I can get some sleep that helps a lot. ❤️

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Thank you for your message @Former-Member. It means so much to me. I know I will get there. Just trying not to overthink things. I think action is the key for me. How are you?

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

I am really good today @oceangirl - best I felt for awhile thank goodness. I received some good news today.

Finding solutions then taking the steps to make it happen is always the best action to take to work things out ❤️

In response to: -Enigma-

Re: -Enigma-

@Former-Member you ok?

In response to: Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Re: t was Re: -Enigma-

Hi @Former-Member Thinking of you too.

Adge

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