Dear @Former-Member
(and waves to @Former-Member @outlander @Appleblossom @Bunniekins)
Your story is heartbreaking, it really is. You do so much for your children as they grow up, with much self sacrifice in order to give them the best opportunities and happiness in life. Unfortunately there comes a time where they have to make their own way in life. Sometimes they fall by the wayside when they come across bad influences. No matter how well you bring them up, they are vulnerable to these outside influences. Just know you did all you could, from the year dot, and beyond.
My brother has been in a similar situation, as you know, with his son. He is 19 now and an adult. Despite every possible attempt by my brother and his wife, he could not get himself out of the influence of the drug scene and those in it. He was a very impressionable, shy young fellow. Much younger than his years. And very vulnerable also because he has some mental health issues, diagnosed with depression as a mid-teen, and likely some undiagnosed underlying issues as well. But he refuses to get help of course. All of these issues are made worse with the drug habit of course. He dabbled when at school as a 15-16yo but it got considerably worse after his little sister died in the car accident almost 3 years ago. I guess also with his Dad (my brother) so physically and mentally ill himself and suicidal, things came to a head with my nephew. But what you say ... that sometimes they have to learn the hard way ...... is unfortunately pretty right. There comes a time where nothing you say or do will make an iota of a difference, they have to make their own mistakes.
Anyway long story short .... I think you were aware that my nephew was arrested twice, once in Dec and again over Easter? Both for robbery, drug possession, driving under influence of drugs, unlicenced firearms possession, possession of drug paraphanalia, etc. After spending Easter in jail, he was given the option of remaining in jail, or going to a 3 month rehab facility.
That was about 2 months ago now. After 5 weeks in, they get to go home for a weekend. That was 2 weeks ago. Unfortunately his girlfriend, who is also his drug supplier and influencer, turned up and took him away from their farm, and fed him more drugs. As my nephew is essentially under house arrest and only let out of rehab for 2 nights under direct care of his parents, he could have been arrested and sent straight to jail if caught out and about. So it was not a very successful weekend. But at least he went back afterwards. This weekend he was permitted home again. This time it was much more successful. The rehab facility has stressed to him again that he must be in the care of either one of his parents while ever he is not in the rehab place, otherwise he will go to jail if caught. I think the message has gotten through. It is a pretty powerful incentive to try to reform, to know that jail is the alternative. The 5 nights he spent in jail over Easter was a real eye opener for him.
I rang them and spoke to all of them earlier today, including my nephew. They would be making the 2.5 hour trek back to the rehab facility about now. He needs to be back in by 6pm. You asked how they are all going. Improving I think. I remain hopeful for the young fellow that he can turn his life around. Do the right thing. But it is a major concern that he is still so vulnerable to this girlfriend of his, a majorly bad influence on him. I think if not for her, he's got a chance in life. He will still need to front up to court once he comes out of rehab which will be a little over a month away. But given that he has shown a willingness to try to reform himself by willingly attending rehab, its likely that he will avoid a jail term.
Hmm, I fear I have waffled a little. Hope all that makes some sense? Gotta go make dinner now. Will check back later.
Sherry 
