Are my thoughts normal?

That's a tough question Evie, it depends how you define 'normal'? It's not something everybody does, but throughout history there have been hundreds of thousands of people (from all cultures, races & religions) who have chosen to end their lives. It would be nicer if we lived in a more compassionate society that assisted people with dying in a calm & peaceful way, but unfortunately we don't. The best we can hope for in our current society is a good doctor we can talk to. Have you got a good gp or a good psychologist? Perhaps talking to someone might help a little bit - even just to get a different or new perspective on your situation? Do you have anything nice to look forward to in the next week or two? I try to create distractions to give me something to look forward to - a coffee with a friend or waiting for an episode of a tv series I like. I've started reading some biographies about people's lives - it's interesting how most of us struggle through this life. Just keep looking for the small things that bring you some happiness and joy. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, and I'm not sure what sort of answers you will get to your question on here. I'm sure my response will get moderated as this site is mainly about medication and talking to doctors and working to 'recover' and 'cure' you, so just know that lot of the responses on here will probably be along that line.

Hi @Evie1,

I don't want to say that your thoughts are 'normal' because its a bit of a tricky matter. I think that, like girl99 said, many people experience these thoughts and have acted on them, and other who have chosen not to act on them. In terms of what you are thinking and feeling, just know you are definitely not alone in it, and doesn't make you different to anyone else. You are experiencing these thoughts because life is so damn tough for you and you are using all your strength to muster on.
Not acting on those thoughts takes strength, which you have Evie1.

@girl99 had some lovely ideas, thank you for replying to Evie1 in such a caring response.
(oh by the way, the site does have its restrictions, but generally you can talk about anything to do with mental health and struggling)

Here for you @Evie1

@Evie1, I can't imagine what you're going through. I've noticed how anguished your recent posts have been but I've never known how to respond or what to say. You are so brave to keep reaching out via the forums. Do you mind if I just sit with you awhile? Sometimes just having someone sit and listen and not necessarily say anything calms and soothes me. Lets me feel that I matter to someone. I'm here for a while if you feel like talking. Take care.

@Evie1 Gotta get ready for doctor's appointment-got the flu. Will be online tonight, so please let me know if you need some company. Take care

Just try to focus on one thing at a time okay @Evie1 that makes everythng less overwhelming, have you had breakfast this morning? What are your plans for the day?

@Evie1, I am back from doctors now, been told to get pleanty of rest for the next couple of days. Do you know what you will be doing when you get back home after Headspace? I'm here if you want to talk, or even if you don't want to talk. Perhaps you might like to share a virtual cuppa later this afternoon. I'm going to have a nana nap now so I don't think my little dog will be too far away. She likes being with her people. She cheers me up if I'm really tired or sick, I am so grateful I rescued her from the pound. Although its been cold and wet the last couple of days, the sun is doing its best to shine through the clouds. Sunshine brings a smile to my face. Look after yourself.