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Hey Life - give me a break.

Hey Life - give me a break.

@PeppiPatty - regarding my story - it probably warrants a thread of its own. Really needing my friends@Shaz51@Faith-and-Hope@Determined@Former-Member@Former-Member@Anony18@outlander@Former-Member @PhoenixRising @Former-Member

Sexually assaulted at age 13. Have never told my family.

Went to uni and moved away afterwards for work so fully independent then.

Came back to my home town after a couple of years.

Had a couple of serious relationships and ended up marrying a narcissist used car dealer (say no more) Basically raised my kids by myself. At 40, he had a fling with a married 19year old who already had a two year old child. He fathered a child with her and I found out some time later when I discovered he was paying child support payments. Stayed in this loveless marriage until the kids had finished school, then divorced which was nasty and I suffered financially big time. Had loaned his business money but didn't have anything legal drawn up. He also moved a lot of money around and had an overdraft on our home.

Got into a relationship with someone who was actually interested in me and shared common interests. It was the best and worst time of my life. He fits all the criteria of BPD. Moved interstate to be with him. The relationship became volatile and he physically assaulted me. This is when I became involved with this Forum. On one occasion, a neighbour called the police and he was arrested. They saw my injuries, he admitted guilt and he was imprisoned. I stood by him all during his incarceration, funding an appeal and he was released after eight months only to be deported as he wasn't an Australian citizen. I joined up with him overseas but the assaults continued. He got sporadic help for his MI but wasn't committed to getting better.

Eventually after yet another particularly bad assault and having the police involved, I returned to Australia and that was four and a half months ago. He appears to be serious about managing his condition now, taking medication, going to support and counselling sessions and hopes that I will return. However, all trust has been obliterated. We still have contact and that can get traumatic at times.

I started off on the Carers' side but find myself on the Lived Experience team as well. I have been having sessions with a psychologist.

Thrown into the mix is my own family. They don't know what I have been through. I used to care for my father and mother, used all my holiday and long service leave, taking time off work and eventually quitting so I could be there for them. Two of my siblings also live nearby but they were more concerned about building wealth than our parents' wellbeing so it was left to me. My father passed away and when I left to be with my partner, my mother's care was transferred to them. I feel they resented my decision but for the first time in my life I felt I was entitled to pursue happiness (not that it turned out that way) The sibs shut me out and when Mum passed away recently things went from bad to worse and as Executors of her will they scattered her ashes when and where they wanted without telling me and are responsible for distributing her estate however they see fit. There was no funeral or memorial service.

I live with my daughter and my son lives with his father. I love my kids with all my heart and live for them. I have a dog (actually my daughter's) who is my constant companion. I do a lot of walking and listening to music to escape the depressing thoughts I feel. I have no idea what to do with my life now and think it's all a cruel joke.

331 replies

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In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Yes@Shaz,I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them,from spending xmas's on my own with them for company to making me have to get out of bed for them.The only thing was on Friday,got home and left their diced steak in a bag on the self serve register,had to go back 25 minutes away to get it,as I knew I wouldn't get any peace from the female cat who knows how to p*** me off at times if I didn't.lol

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Yes @Former-Member, i want my dinner NOW says the cat not in 2 minutes

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

@soul,yes walking by yourself is "your time",the only thing is like yesterday I have severe moments of negative thoughts and all my regrets hit me like a tsunami.Hope you had a better day headspace wise.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

mYes @shaz ,She was meowing like mad when I left,no stirfry steak,they have it at that time of day where they line up at the door.My big male(pic) eats dried food all day but she looks forward to her steak.

In response to: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi Soul

Sounds like you have had really rough trot in your life. I have had my own struggles too.

The forum is a good place to vent and ask for help.

Spoil yorself with things that make you feel good. I find music calms me down and spending time with my darling Beagle Barney helps keep anxiety at bay.

Do you have good mental health professionals to talk to? If you do, that's great.

Best wishes

John

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hi @JohnS - can't say that this year has been a lot of fun. Maybe this month will be better. I used to go to a psych but have stopped that. At the end of the day I think I need to be at peace with myself and find things that make me happy. I love spending time with my kids and my dog. I go walking a lot and listen to music whilst doing so if I am alone to chill out.

Lately I have been into vintage Bruce Springsteen, Bob Marley and Mark Knopfler. I used to go to concerts a lot but haven't for a couple of years now.

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Hello again Soul

Finding peace in music is great therapy.

Interesting that you mentioned Mark Knopfler : have been watching his brillance with the guitar and his quiet demeanour in performances on Youtube. What a musician - one of my favourites.

Best wishes

John

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Have admired Knopfler since his Dire Straits days. Saw them in concert a couple of times and also Mark solo.

He is a brilliant guitarist. Am enjoying revisiting "Privateering" as well,as his latest "Tracker"

Who are your favourite artists @JohnS?

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

My best of all time favourites are The Eagles, The Beatles, Bob Dylan, James Taylor, Neil Young (Harvest), Mark Knopfler, U2, The Corrs and Phil Collins.

Have a collection of vinyl records, cds, music dvds and have burnt many various artists compilations on my old pc.

What I listen to depends on my mood.

Look forward to hearing from you again soon.

Best wishes

John

In response to: Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

Re: Hey Life - give me a break.

All great artists with longevity in their trade that you rarely see these days.

Have seen Phil Collins and U2 live also. Looking forward to talking music with you some more but time for some shut eye now @JohnS

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